philisophical waxings and brain droppings

whaaa?

2009-02-10T21:20:00.001-08:00

epic fail

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcujGqRiNvE&eurl=http://failblog.org/&feature=player_embedded

return of the prodigal son

2009-02-05T18:20:00.000-08:00

Hello, I'm back.

I just had to pee for a very long time....like a year or so. These trying times find your humble narrator in John Asguaga's Nugget in lovely Reno Nevada. I've been here since Tuesday and can't wait to get out of here. I'm at an educational conference composed of 900 of my least closest friends. Nobody is talking to me except the people I work with. I've already lost 70 bucks and gambling is holding no interest at all. I've been in bed by 9pm and 11pm consecutive days. The classes are interesting and I'm learning a lot that I didn't already know. It's the in between times that are killing me. Perhaps I should make them relaxing times with Santori. Right now, I'm listening to a really shitty cover band play the lame ass hits from the 70's, anxiously awaiting the opening of the bar in 5 minutes. I think they are going to have the same amputee/disabled fashion show as two years ago. For a more thorough accounting, see my post "Fear and Loathing in Reno" from precisely 2 years ago. This year will be different though. This year I'm going to win the free laptop in the raffle come hell or high water. Wish me luck.

Keeping my head down....

-J

just because....

2007-09-14T15:02:00.000-07:00

A little beauty in a fucked up world.....enjoy.

Ninja Frog

2007-05-28T12:44:00.000-07:00

I was out having a smoke on my deck the other day and saw a damn ninja frog stealthily observing my kitchen from the window. I'm pretty sure he was eyeing my temporary insanity hot sauce that I got from Sean. Not a chance frog! That bottle of liquid fire is mine and mine alone! The crazy thing is that the window is a good 20 feet from the ground. He must have used his ninja hand spikes to scale the wall.

Been Busy

2007-05-28T12:24:00.001-07:00

It's been awhile since I've posted anything but I have a good excuse. I've been busy as hell. Springtime has brought a lot of renovations to my house/yard. The kitchen has a fresh coat of paint and is the last of the major indoor painting for awhile. We are soon going to get a new sink and countertops. Hooray for getting rid of the 70's style, although the octogon shall remain to remind me of this house's roots. My mom came down and spent 4 solid days helping to plant a flower garden. It's almost done, I'm going to add some rocks/bricks to the front to create a line and then may put rockwork amongst the flowers. We also planted a maple tree in the backyard. The next big project was repainting the deck. As you can see from the before pictures, it was a mess. This project was a royal pain in the ass. We primed and painted the entire deck. The decorative strips on the ceiling all had to come down for painting. There were 37 pieces and putting them up was like working on a puzzle. Jade and I spent a week and a half straight working on it. We probably put in 60 man hours total. I still have the lattice work to put up. When it's all said and done, were going to have a bbq/washers party. Here are some before and after pics.

The saddest thing....you'll ever see....

2007-04-19T19:18:00.000-07:00

This has to be the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. Who in the world thought that this would be a good idea, let alone funny? There should be a law against middle aged white people trying to act black. I feel sorry for the lone black guy on stage. I wonder what he's thinking during all of this? Probably laughing his ass off. I know I did. Enjoy.

sad kermit doing "hurt"

2007-04-19T19:13:00.000-07:00

This is hilarious, but also really sad. I had never paid that much attention to all the lyrics until I heard Kermit's bittersweet voice singing it. Kudos to whomever made this, top notch creativity.

back from the dead

2007-04-02T16:13:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,

Let me express my profound apologies for being an extremely lazy ass. I haven't been inspired to write anything for weeks. I'm still not, but I thought I would give it a stab. So, today I offered up two rants.

Rant #1 St. Patrick's Day

Okay, I know this isn't really a timely topic anymore, but damnit, I got somthing to say. Jade and I went to the Kansas City Parade, which was lots of fun last time I went. This time....not so much. Apparently in years past there had been a lot of drunkeness (duh) and unfortunately violence. So, this year was basically St. Paddy's on lockdown. For one, you couldn't drink on the street. There was a 250 dollar fine for open containers (jesus!). This wouldn't have been so bad if there were beer tents, but there were none. You could drink in a bar, but not take it outside. Secondly, the parade felt like a police state. There were cops on foot, narc agents, cops on atvs, cops on horseback, cops in cars, and helicopters. I had a flask with me but was to scared to open it because there were 3 cops in view during the whole parade. The narc agents were the worst. They were dressed head to toe in black with jackboots. They looked like some kind of Americanized version of the SS. Most of them looked much to eager to beat the shit out of someone that looked at them funny. So, needless to say it was a bummer. The worst part was that this type of atmosphere really subdued the joy of the parade. There was nobody hooting and hollerin like years past. Everyone stood in their spots solemnly and would occaisionally clap as a float went by. The lack of alchohol took all the passion and spontenaity out of the crowd. I won't be coming back anytime soon.

Rant #2 Tipping

Okay, I'm usually a very generous tipper. I tip 20% standard at restaurants, unless the service is really shitty. Even then I still tip over 10%. When I'm at a bar I usually tip a buck every time I get a drink, more for a good healthy glass of hard liqour. Sometimes it's more than that because bars "convieniently" charge 50 to 75 cents over a dollar on every drink to make you give that extra quarter or so along with your regular tip. Last time I was at a bar I had to wait (at an empty bar mind you) while the bartender had a 5-10 mintue conversation with someone there (I was staring her down the whole time, by the way). The messed up thing is that I still tipped her so she wouldn't think I was an ass. That same night I thought about how many patrons there are per bar, plus how many drinks they may buy on average. Basically, bartenders and waitresses are making money hand over fist. That was disgusting, but what I found out later was much worse. I spoke with my secretary, who used to be a bartender. She says that they made on average 25 bucks or more an hour. She also said that they only have to report tips up to minimum wage. So, not only are they making a shitload of money without an education, they don't even have to pay their fair amount of tax on it unless they choose to (guess how many probably "choose" to report the extra income....my guess is 0%). Also, it's not necessarily even a full time job. So, here I am busting my ass daily to make a living and I'm giving it over readily to someone who really is just popping the top on a beer bottle. On that note, I'm through with being generous. I'll still tip (damn the world...it's expected), but it will be on a significantly smaller scale. What I'd really like to see is for everyone to stop tipping so bars/restaurants will be forced to pay their workers a fair wage rather than stuffing all that money from my 10$ burger and fries or 4 dollar beer into their greedy little pockets.

That is all.

Oh yeah, can somebody tell me how to post a video I found online? It will be the subject of my next post but I don't know how to do it.

Coming soon to a theater near you

2007-03-05T14:14:00.000-08:00

This weekend was the True False film festival. It started Thursday night and went on till Sunday night. We did the right thing this year and got an all access pass instead of individual tickets. This allowed us to pick out our movies before the general public could which meant we got to see everything we wanted, plus didn't have to wait in line. Here's a quick review of what we saw.

The Falling Man: This documentary was about the picture of a man who jumped from the World Trade Center. The picture was ran once in a newspaper on September 12th, and never printed again. The movie followed the film maker in trying to track down the identity of this person. Overall, a pretty good movie but a little slow.

In the Shadow of the Moon: This was one of the best. It chronicles the race to get to the moon in the 60's and has interviews with many of the astronauts that went. The interviews provide a lot of background info and experiences that aren't well known. The best thing about this film is that it really exemplifies the can-do spirit and optimism of America at this time. It's just what this country needs right now. Also, the cinematography was gorgeous. It won the audience best picture at Sundance this year and will probably get wide spread release, so look for it in theatres and video stores.

Banished: This one folllowed the story of some black people whose ancestors were violently driven out of town in Alabama, Arkansas, and Missouri around the turn of the century. The subjects of the film were trying to get their land back, get reparations, etc. A dark period of our American history, but once reparations came into it I lost interest.

Radiant City: Probably my first or second favorite movie, and we didn't even get to sit through all of it. It tells the story of suburban sprawl in Canada by following a family that lives in a very cookie-cutter bland suburb. Basically the film postulates that we lose our interconnectedness when we partition ourselves into solitary homes. It also talks about how it's silly that we have to drive one place to get fuel, another to shop, and yet another to get groceries...and that they are so far apart. It sounds like a downer, but the film was presented in a quirky, satirical style...not heavy handed at all. It reminded me of last year's movie This Film is Not Yet Rated.

Manufactured Landscapes: This was my absolutely least favorite movie. We left Radiant City to get to this one on time and I regret that. It was a documentary about some photographer that takes ghostlike pictures of coal mines, large factories, landfills, etc. Extremely boring with very little dialogue. The photography was excellent though.

The Third Monday in October: This was also up there for best film for me. It chronicled the class president election process in 4 different middle schools. This movie basically drops you right back into 8th grade, with all the awkwardness and sillines that it was. Very real portrayal of life at that age. It made me feel like a kid again, which is always good.

About a Son: I have mixed feelings about this one. It was basically an audio track of Kurt Cobain describing his upbringing and how he got into music. It was just Kurt Cobain talking for an hour and a half. The video was clips of areas around Washington State where he grew up. There was also some footage of people and bands and city life, but no Nirvana footage or songs...which actually enhanced the movie. The cinematography was beautiful. I found that this movie strips away preconceived notions about the man. He's not the voice of our generation, he's not constantly depressed, he's not a complete junkie, he's not full of himself....he's just an average guy.

Raders of the Lost Ark: This movie was freakin hilarious. It's a home movie that a couple of kids and their friends shot over 7 years in the 1980's. The cool thing is that they were obsessed with Raiders of the Lost Ark and set out to recreate it.....literally shot for shot. They did an amazing job....the timing, the dialogue, the camera angle......all of it was excactly as it was in the blockbuster movie. The only difference is that the actors are all kids age 8 to 16, who can't act worth shit. They even had special effects to recreate the fire in the bar scene, the faces melting, the egyptian tomb, and even the red line racing along a map as they travel. The only thing left out was the monkey (they replaced it with a small dog), and the airplane fight scene (just too dangerous to do). Afterwards, the actors took questions from the audience. The things they did would make their parents absolutely murder them. For example, the fire in the bar scene was filmed with real fire and no supervision......in the basement of their house! If this ever is publicly released (doubtful), try to catch it.

American Shopper: This film was shot in Columbia with local people. Basically, a guy comes to town and wants to use Schnuck's grocery store for a new sport called "Aisling". The sport consists of tricking out a grocery cart and racing to collect grocery items in a certain amount of time. Oh yeah, you are also judged on creative dance moves. The film follows a group of about 10 Columbians as they prepare for the event. This was a gimmicky movie, as people really liked the whole "I know that guy" factor. Other than that, the movie was fair at best. It was pretty funny though. The guy that won did a Star Trek theme complete with music.

Overall, it was a really good festival. The only downside was that it was freezing most of the weekend. We also went to 2 receptions and 2 concerts. As always, in between movies there was live music and at the end of films the directors would take questions. Needless to say, I'm completely exhausted today. Oh yeah, the picture at the top of this is the poster for the festival. I failed to steal one while I was downtown, but it would look really good framed.

Another Geek Post

2007-03-05T14:02:00.000-08:00

For those Star Wars fans out there if you haven't seen the clone wars cartoon yet, do so immediately. I'd been meaning to watch them for a long time now. I finally got around to picking up the discs. Basically, the two volumes bridge the gap between episodes 2 and 3. They were hella cool. Most of the stories don't have much dialogue, but are packed with action. The use of the force in these makes the movies seem weak by comparison. I think my favorite was Mace Windu vs. about 1000 battle droids. The series also introduces a new Sith villain pictured here and General Grievious. The fight scenes with Grievious are superbly animated. Best of all, Anakin doesn't act like such a whiny brat. Even Count Dooku, who I thought was lame in the movies, is actually pretty bad ass.

fascism!

2007-02-20T15:58:00.000-08:00

Well, I was finally forced to switch to new blogger without being given a choice. Hope it works well.

Rethinking the dollar Coin

2007-02-20T15:42:00.000-08:00

Hands up if you think a dollar coin is a silly idea.

Me too.

I'll admit, I like the design. I don't like the idea of lugging around a pocketfull of dollar coins. I also realize that it's a bitch to retrofit all the soda/candy/other vending machines to accept them and that the cost of doing so would be graciously passed on to you....the consumer. I recently read an article that got me thinking that it might not be such a bad idea after all. Basically, the article said that the reason the dollar coin was created was to save the government money in production. Since a coin lasts longer in circulation than a bill, it is estimated that 600 million a year would be saved in production. In the grand scheme of things, that really isn't that much money, but every little bit can add up. So, I bregrudgingly would be willing to give up my nice slim greenback in favor of saving a buck or two (pun intended). What do you guys think?

Also, interesting fact: It cost 3 cents to make 1 penny.....seems kinda backwards huh. They always said you gotta spend money to make money...I guess it's true.

The Reno Experience

2007-02-12T15:58:00.000-08:00

Who are these people? These faces!
Where do they come from? They look
like caricatures of used car
dealers from Dallas.

And, sweet Jesus, there are a hell
of a lot of them at four-thirty on
a Monday morning. Still humping
the American dream, that vision of
the big winner somehow emerging
from the last minute predawn chaos
of a stale Vegas casino.
-Hunter S. Thompson

Reno,

Ah....Reno. The above quote sums up my experience nicely. Now I remember why I don't really like hanging out in casinos. While there, I saw more than my fair share of strange people, all with deeply lined faces, staring like zombies at the soft glow of slot machines and video poker. Most of them seemed like they didn't even notice the throng of humanity seething around them like blood cells in an artery. Many of them were drinking at 9am...they didn't look happy.

My experience in Reno was as a ghost....unnoticed. This trip had it's highs and lows, but mostly lows. There I was (My god!, There I am.), amongst 900 of my coworkers....and it seemed like nobody wanted to talk to me. The worst was the concert/banquet. It felt like high school all over again. Everyone was mingling and eating. I wandered around trying to find people I knew. Everytime I found someone, they were already engrossed in a conversation. I would walk up to them thinking I would be included, but people would just go on talking like I wasn't there. After an hour or so of that, I gave up and went back to my room. Hanging out on the casino floor was a little better. Usually I could find someone bellied up to the bar to talk with. I found that my coworkers tend to fall into 2 categories: the ones that like to talk theory and design, and the ones that like to talk money. I fall into the first category, so my conversations with like minded people generally went well. When speaking with someone who likes to talk money, I felt like I was talking to a used car salesman. I would leave these conversations feeling like I needed to take a shower. We definitely have some sharks in the business. The funny thing though, was that work was all people seemed to talk about. I like talking shop as much as the next person but, my god, after 3-4 days of it straight it gets very old. One good thing that happened was that I ran into a lot of people I knew from either school or the KC area. Again though, the conversations were awkward for the most part as I hadn't kept in touch with these people for going on 3 years.

Oh well, onto other experiences. My flight to and from Reno was eventful. I started out at 4:50 on Tuesday Morning. Our flight out of St. Louis was delayed 3 hours for repairs, so we missed our connection in Denver. I ended up spending 5 additional hours in Denver to catch a flight. They still let you smoke in that airport, but you have to buy a drink in the one smoking bar or they kick you out. I didn't get into Reno till after 7pm their time. On the way back I had to get up at 4:30 to catch a 5am shuttle to the airport. My flight was at 6:20am. I waited in line 30 minutes to check my bag. When I got to the front of the line, the guy said he couldn't check my bag outside and asked if I was on the no fly list. I thought I was going to have to stand in another line for 30 minutes. Instead, he went inside and took care of it. My bags were checked and I figured it would be a short time later before I was on my plane. I was wrong. Ahead of me was a security line with about 200 or so people in it. Long story short, I made my plane by less than 10 minutes before takeoff. I later found out that had I missed this flight, I would have been stuck in Reno for 2-3 more days since they didn't have any open flights. The rest of the day was uneventful, and I made it back to Columbia by 5pm.

I was surprised by how little I drank while I was there. Last time I went I played Blackjack and drank from 5 to 2am everyday. I guess it was because I lost a lot of money quickly that I didn't have the urge to gamble. That left conversations, and we all know how those went. So, I was in my room early most of the time. Overall this was a good thing, as I actually learned quite a bit in my classes.

There were two positive aspects of my trip. The first was the view. My room was on the 22nd floor. There were two windows that were about 15 feet wide by 5 feet tall. It was like having a panoramic view. The mountains were absolutley stunning. The second was gambling. I managed to lose about 16o in 2 hours or so at the blackjack table. This was only on the second day. I gave up on gambling until Friday. You could only get free drinks while you were playing, so I went to the bar and put 5 bucks in the quarter video poker machines. About halfway through that, I hit four of kind, which paid 75 quarters. I lost all that money while I was sitting there. I still wanted to drink, so I put in 4 more dollars. I was down to my last 13 quarters and I was dealt a royal flush....which paid 750 quarters. I cashed out 190 bucks and called it quits. So, overall I was up 30 bucks for the week. Some people were much more lucky than I was. My boss walked away with over 700 bucks. Some guy wanted to bum a smoke from him and paid him a dollar for it. My boss refused and the guy told him to take it and play it in a specific slot machine. He won 200 bucks off that one dollar on the first pull! Some people weren't that lucky. A coworker of mine lost about 400 bucks.

I was very glad to get home yesterday. The convention was a very surreal place to be. Many people there were amputees and it felt like walking around a cyborg convention. One girl had an arm that was ipod white with neon blue lighting on the inside...very strange, like something out of Star Wars. They even had a prosthetics/orthotics fashion show where they paraded horribly disfigured/disabled people out on stage and had them pose just like a real fashion show while an annoucer commented on what parts they were using in their devices. It was something you had to see to fully understand how degrading it was.

Well, as they say...that's the long and the short of it.
Laters
-J

Viva..... Las Reno

2007-02-05T14:54:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again. Hanger's education fair at the Nugget casino in Reno. I'm going to be gone from Tuesday through Sunday. Last time I went (2 years ago) I had a blast. I didn't spend that much money gambling and I drank waaaaaaaaaayy too much. I didn't learn much as I was constantly hung over. Basically, I played black jack from 5pm till 2am or so every night....and the drinks were free. I was completly spun by the time I got home. This year my goal is to drink less and learn more. It does suck that I'm going to be cut off from the internet for a week. I have no laptop or cool phone like Aaron's, so sucks to be me. See you all in a week.

-J

What a Wiikend!

2007-01-22T15:37:00.000-08:00

Okay, so look back over my last Wii post...In the comments I said I would be damned if I was going to get up early again and wait in line.....guess I'm a hypocrite. So, most of this weekend sucked donkey balls. I was on call and had to go in Friday night. I ended up spending 2 hours helping a couple of doctors relocate a dislocated hip on a 270 pound woman. It was nastier than I'm going to describe. The gist of it is that I had to put my hands under her FUPA fat fold (she was really a HUGE lady) and apply pressure to her pelvis while the doctor stood up on her bed and yanked her leg around trying to get it to set in the socket. It took most of my strength to keep the doctor from pulling her pelvis up off the table. We finally got it in after about 30-40 minutes (including sedation time). I then had to wait for x-ray to determine that the hip was back in place. It was, so I then applied her brace (which was like putting an elastic strap around a bean bag....doesn't do any good) and had to wait for more x-ray results before I could go home. I went home in a foul mood and watched "Employee of the Month"....dreadful movie. Saturday we had Jade's new car stereo installed and went shopping for her birthday present. I new that some stores were releasing Wiis on Sunday. I went ahead and bought a couple of games and decided I was going to get up around 6am and wait in line. So, we watched "The Devil Wears Prada" on Saturday night.....not half bad. I ended up going to bed at 12:30. The pager then promptly went of at 3:30am. So, 3 hours of sleep and back to work I go. After I finish up at the hospital, I decided to go wait in line at Target rather than Circuit City (target opened at 8am CC at 10am). I got to Target at 5:30am and was the first person in line. I was joined shortly by a 12 year old kid who's mom dropped him off. People slowly started trickling in. At 7, they gave out vouchers. They had 36 units and there was only 20 or so people in line, so I really didn't need to wait 2 and a half hours in the cold and snow. It was worth it though...I finally got my system. I went home and set it up. I played Zelda for about an hour before I went back to bed from shear exhaustion. I then woke up at 1:30pm and played Zelda for 8 hours straight. I then played Trauma Center, and some Wii sports. First impressions: Graphically, the system sucks. After playing xbox 360 it's like looking at a TV without wearing my glasses. While Zelda has gorgeous art direction, the textures were extremely muddy. I would put graphics on the level of ps2. 8 hours into it...Zelda is an awesome game (as to be expected). The controller layup takes some getting used to. I kept wanting to push a button to swing the sword and had to keep reminding myself to swing the controller. Also, I would kill for a second analog stick on the wiimote. It would be awesome if the nunchuck controlled left and right, a second stick controled forward and back and you aimed with the pointer. The buttons were also kinda hard to reach (minus the 4 trigger and A button). Overall though, the setup works pretty well. I was surprised at how easy it is to keep steady. The next game I played was Trauma Center, which is a surgery simulator similar to the old Life and Death games on the pc. It is cool as hell! It's simpler than Life and Death, owing more to Dance Dance Revolution than real surgery. You basically get a heads up on what surgery you will be performing and then have to complete it in a certain time frame. 5 surgeries into it and I hit a wall. The difficulty ramps up way to quick. I think it will be a great game once I figure out how to keep my patients from dying. Lastly, I played a little Wii sports. This game is really fun. It's 5 sport games in one. Boxing was pretty cool, although a little slow on the controls. Bowling was really accurate. I found it easy to control spin. Golf is my favorite so far. It's the only one where I actually had to get up off my ass to control it. You have to take a full golf swing to get a good hit. It's also very accurate....as I suck as much at the video game as I do in real life! Actually, it's pretty simple, but you can still get a hook or slice. I look forward to actually getting to play against someone else but I still need to get a second controller. They didn't have any at Target, which is ridiculous if you're going to be getting in 36 new systems. I was able to find component cords and a memory card, which was way overpriced. All in all, I'm very happy with it and also very glad that I can stop obsessing over getting one.

Smokin'

2007-01-15T16:31:00.000-08:00

I bought a smoker a couple of weeks ago. Tried to cook some ribs, but it didn't turn out near as good as I expected it to. Anybody got any tips? I also bought one of those marinade injectors. It's pretty cool, but messy as hell. I'd love to hear some receipe's for marinades or sauces for smoking. I came across a version of Applebee's bourbon street steak (which I love) marinade, but it didn't turn out to taste anything like what you get at the restaurant. The funny thing was, it had a shitload of bourbon added to the recipe. It ended up tasting like you were eating a shot of whiskey. Not so good.

I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good....

2007-01-15T16:04:00.000-08:00

Or, at least have been for the past 3 weeks.

You see, I got books 3 and 4 in the Harry Potter series for Christmas. I've already seen all four movies and absolutely loved them. The books were SOOOOOO much better than the movies. I thought The Goblet of Fire movie kinda sucked, but it was my favorite book (of the four made into movies). I tore through these 2 books with reckless abandon. As soon as I finished the fourth, I had to read the 5th and 6th. I promptly went out and bought those two books. I was not disappointed....the series just gets better with every book. I can't believe they are in the young childrens section of the library, as books 4 and 5 are over 800 pages each. So, every night after work I would come home and read (on most days). I would read literally from about 5pm to 1am almost every night. I'm friggin exhausted, but in a pleasant way. I'm also glad to say that I'm done until the next book comes out. I feel as if I've been living in a cave for the last 3 weeks. I've neglected damn near all aspects of my life while I was reading those books. Anyway, I wanted to start a Harry Potter thread for anyone else that have enjoyed these books/movies. I'll start with a couple of top 5 threads.

Top 5 books so far
1. The Order of the Phoenix
2. The Half Blood Prince
3. The Goblet of Fire
4. The Prisoner of Azkaban
5. The Chamber of Secrets

Top 4 movies so far
1. The Prisoner of Azkaban
2. The Chamber of Secrets
3. The Scorcerer's Stone
4. The Goblet of Fire

Top 5 favorite Characters
1. Albus Dumbledore
2. Remus Lupin
3. Hermoine Granger
4. Sirius Black
5. Professor McGonagall

honorable mentions: Fred and George Weasley, Luna, Neville, Harry, Dobby

Top 5 magical items.
1. The marauders' map
2. The Pensieve
3. Invisibility cloak
4. Flu powder
5. The room of requirement

I was going to do a top 5 spells, but I can't remember most of them by name. Same with potions. Feel free to add to the list if your a Potter fan.

Mischief Managed
-J

Wii're not gonna takeit , no! Wii're not gonna take it!

2006-12-19T15:43:00.000-08:00

Hi, I'm Jason, and I'm an addict.

My addiction has altered my life for the negative and also impacted my relationship.

The addiction in question: Nintendo's Wii

That sleek little white box seduces me, it beckons with it's soft blue light like a prostitute in an alleyway. The promise of a euphoric high of waving a wand and playing Zelda till my eyes crust over haunts my every waking moment.

I've already spent a good deal of time over the last month wasting time and gas driving to different stores around town trying to get my hands on the system. This weekend was the accumilation of a month of depravity and deperate need. This weekend I did what I thought I would never do....I stood in line.

It was common knowledge that video game stores had been hoarding their stock of Wii, planning to allow sale of it on Sunday. There was promise of many systems available. So, I got up at 4:30 Sunday morning and went to the mall to stand in line.

Apparently I'm not the only addict, nor the most die-hard. By the time I got to the mall at 5am, there were already lines. Take in mind the system has been out for a month and the stores didn't open till 8am. The line for EB Games was sold out. I got back in my car and drove to Target. Some of those people had been camped out all night! They had sleeping bags and chairs. Again, there were more people than systems available. I got back in my car and drove home empty handed.

So, time has come for me to swear off my addiction. I'm no longer going to worry about getting a Wii. I'm not going to even look for one until I can walk in the store on any given day and pick one up.

However, when that day comes, I'm going to fire up Zelda and try to inject the controller into my veins.

Seriously, I've heard it's that cool.

Finally Free

2006-12-19T15:42:00.000-08:00

Jade and I are officially done with league bowling. We had missed a few weeks due to Sean's wedding and my office Christmas party. We went last Friday and found out that one of our teammates put in her 2 weeks notice. The other two teammates have been AWOL for 3 weeks. That leaves us without enough people for a team. That worked out well, because I've been wanting to quit for a long time now. It definitely isn't as fun as I imagined it. For one, you only get to bowl 3 games and it takes 3 hours. Also, nobody seemed to be very friendly. Mostly the other teams seemed concerned about making sure that they didn't lose to us due to math errors or handicapping errors. Many times, other teams would object about what people count on the team and if their averages and handicaps are correct. It was too anal for my tastes....I just wanted to have fun. Also, we got stuck on a team with people we have nothing in common with. I came to dread Friday nights. Now, I'm free to do whatever I please on Fridays. Overall, I don't think league bowling is anything I plan on doing in the forseeable future. I only recommend it if you have a team of 5 of people that you already know.

Finally Free

2006-12-19T15:18:00.001-08:00

Well,

Jade and I are officially done with league bowling. We had missed a few weeks due to Sean's wedding and my office Christmas party. We went last Friday and found out that one of our teammates put in her 2 weeks notice. The other two teammates have been AWOL for 3 weeks. That leaves us without enough people for a team. That worked out well, because I've been wanting to quit for a long time now. It definitely isn't as fun as I imagined it. For one, you only get to bowl 3 games and it takes 3 hours. Also, nobody seemed to be very friendly. Mostly the other teams seemed concerned about making sure that they didn't lose to us due to math errors or handicapping errors. Many times, other teams would object about what people count on the team and if their averages and handicaps are correct. It was too anal for my tastes....I just wanted to have fun. Also, we got stuck on a team with people we have nothing in common with. I came to dread Friday nights. Now, I'm free to do whatever I please on Fridays. Overall, I don't think league bowling is anything I plan on doing in the forseeable future. I only recommend it if you have a team of 5 of people that you already know.

Finally Free

2006-12-19T15:18:00.000-08:00

Gonna take your momma out tonight....

2006-12-08T13:51:00.000-08:00

Scissor Sisters are coming to KC March 13th. Anyone want to go? Jade and I will probably buy tickets when they go on sale tomorrow. Let us know ASAP.

HD-DVDEE plus MEE=Hapee, but still no Wii

2006-12-04T16:10:00.000-08:00

So, I drug my ass out and braved the half-cleared roads this weekend to do a little christmas shopping. As usual, I end up buying myself a little something-something. I ended up at Best Buy and one of the thousand eager employees approached me and asked if I needed any help (usually I decline and say piss off in my head). This time though a thought popped in my head. "Do you have any blu-ray players in?", I asked. "Why certainly sir, follow me.", the employee cheerfully said. He took me to the dvd player section and proceeded to show me the cheapest blu-ray player.....800 bucks! Needless to say, I quickly lost interest. The staff member was quick to point out that if I had a xbox 360 I could get a HD-DVD drive for 200 bucks. By coincidence, I just happened to own one (see my previous post on the valiant search for the elusive 360). So, I told him I would think about it. I went and checked out the HD-DVD section. I was disappointed at the lack of good titles available. Blu-Ray had better movies and will probably win the competition eventually. However, there is little that can stop me once I have a purchase in mind (I think it's some kind of psychological disorder). So, I bought one, and a couple of movies to boot. The movies are crazy expesive. Old movies were 25-30 and new releases went as high as 35. I'm hoping that the local Hollywood video will soon be renting them, as I have no intention of restocking my library with HD. Also, the main reason I bought one is that my shitty cable company has been out of stock for HD receivers for almost a year, making my TV useless except for videogames. So, I make my purchase and head happily home. I call Jade on the way to tell her I got a little surprise. Long story short.....she got me one as a surprise christmas gift already. So, basically I ruined her surprise. Since there was no sense waiting till christmas since I already knew about it, we went ahead and hooked it up Saturday. I was very happy with the outcome. The picture is noticeably sharper, and the extras are more easily accessed (you can do it while the movie is playing). The player came with King Kong and it looked friggin fantastic (even though I'm not a huge fan of the movie). Not only that, but Jade got it for 40 bucks less than I payed for mine by using a coupon. So, here's to Jades' craftiness and ingenuity. Until that very day I hadn't even really considered getting a HD player. My explosion of joy was hindered somewhat due to the exhausting search for the Nintendo Wii. Like an idiot, I didn't reserve a system months ago, so here I am in the same boat I was with the 360....going store to store every couple days in hopes that they might still have one in stock. I do have a plan however.....this Saturday I'm going to be waiting at the mall before they open in hopes that I can get one at EB Games before the throng of shoppers clean them out. Yeah, sad, I know. But, one must understand the complete hold this system has on me with the unique controller and the first new Zelda game in several years. I've heard nothing but good things about the system, and I'm damned determined to have one. Odds are I'm going to have to wait well into the new year though. So, last ditch effort this weekend and if it doesn't happen, then I wash my hands of it for awhile. A consumption this strong cannot be healthy.

Frickin' snow

2006-12-03T16:43:00.000-08:00

I love snow for sledding....shovelling.....not so much. We got shat on with the white stuff.

Going to the chapel.....

2006-11-27T17:43:00.000-08:00

Here's the first batch of wedding pictures. Jade got some really good ones. I think my mom got some of the more funny shots, we'll just have to wait and see. She lost her camera in the bar in a drunken fury, but it was able to be recovered the next day. So, without further ado....the progression.

The actual wedding...Jade was stuck behind a candle and this was the best shot we have.

Sean and Heather arriving by Bentley....very fashionable.

The wedding party being introduced at the reception.

Aaron's toast to the bride and groom

The boys looking dapper before the shenanigans set it.

Me and my two favorite ladies.

Have your cake and eat it too.

Let the libations begin.

Damn the libations...they lead to barrel rolls

Even Sean's old man got in on the action.

That's the cream of the crop for now....we had a 3 rolls of film, so obviously I had to narrow it down. All and all....a successful and fun wedding....peace out.

Rock Lobster

2006-11-27T17:32:00.000-08:00

Well, better late than never. Here are the pics from Halloween of The Deadbeat Club. They put on a helluva good show. Very Authentic.

I liked this one of David Lee Roth

Here's another of fear and loathing

I have a ton more, but I'll leave it at that.

My name is Earl

2006-11-02T15:27:00.000-08:00

Pics from the Halloween party Friday night. There are more to come.

These are two of the better costumes.

More to come when Jade gets them developed. There was a pretty bad ass David Lee Roth there as well.

bad ass

2006-10-27T15:25:00.000-07:00

Jade and I went to a concert last night to see Witch's Hat. We were expecting a good show, but didn't expect this. This is Shaffer the DarklordThis nerdy, little white guy is quite possibly the most bad ass rapper I have ever heard, period. His style is basically Weird Al, but more vulgar and much more funny. His rap style is like Eminem...but 10 times better. I was completely blown away. If you ever get a chance to see this guy, run...don't walk to get there. Everyone MUST go to his myspace page (which should be on my friends list soon). View the video for "Cat People". It is quite possibly the fastest rapping I have ever heard. Seriously, you have to at least see a video of this guy to understand what I'm talking about. Now imagine that live, with a little comedy in between songs. It was sweet.

We saw the show at the Eastside Tavern. I've spoke of it before, but now I have some pictures of it's awesomitude. See for yourself.

These are some dolls that they have on the wall. Enlarge to get a better look...Sorry they came out so dark.

Here's Captain Spalding. I thought about going as him this year, but it was too late to put together that complicated of a costume.

okay, sideways, but cool poster.

Cool 3d skeleton and Reverend Horton Heat Poster.

I just like the lsd one.

And, of course, Witch's Hat put on a great show. They have a new guitarist that is still learning to mesh with the band. I gain more and more respect for the drummer every show....he's pretty good. They played a lot of songs from their upcoming EP. It's going to be about 6 songs that tell a story (something about pirates). The jury is still out on it, but I liked a couple of the songs. The bass player had a Legend of Zelda shirt on, and I'm going to try to talk him into incorporating the Zelda theme song into one of their songs. It would be most bad-ass.

Last week we saw the lead singer of Clem Snide and we stayed out waaaay to late on a weeknight. Did the same thing last night as Witch's Hat didn't even come on till Midnight. We are going to a costume party/concert tonight. I'm too old to keep up with all this partying. So, I'm going to sleep like the dead (the living dead) tomorrow in preparation for Halloween. Jade and I are going as Earl and Joy and are going to see a B-52's cover band made up of local musicians. I hope everyone has a deliciously evil Halloween.

Boo

-J

Reel Horrorshow

2006-10-24T17:48:00.000-07:00

I'm full swing into the Halloween mood. I went out and bought 6 new horror movies for my viewing pleasure. They have prompted me to make a post about my top 10 horror movies of all time. I was going to list all the horror movies I could think of and systematically reduce them to ten, but after working till 7:15 tonight, I haven't the energy. So, here goes.

10. April Fool's Day
9. Night of the Demons
8. Lost Boys
7. House of 1000 Corpses/Devil's Rejects
6. Return of the Living Dead
5. Nightmare on Elm Street
4. 28 Days Later
3. Evil Dead 2
2. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
1. The Shining

Okay, let the booing begin. This list was compiled in a matter of minutes, and I'm sure I've left out some great movies. Actually, I had a hard time narrowing it down to 10. I kept coming up with other movies I liked. Two off the top of my head that I didn't include because I don't consider them "horror" are American Psycho and Rocky Horror.

Honorable Mentions go to Milo and Otis, Babe-Pig in the City, The Care Bears Movie, Pretty Woman, Beaches, Sweet November.....all truly "horrific" movies.

So, don't like mine? Add your own to the posts...and don't forget to mention what rank they would be.

fascism at it's finest

2006-10-11T15:05:00.000-07:00

Well, the ban on smoking in public places will go into effect Jan 9th
In Columbia. This momentous decision was decided by 7 people on the city council. 4 voted yes. I, as a smoker, am royally pissed. No more smoking in a bowling alley, pool hall, bar, concert, restaurant, anywhere. There, vented. What really bothers me are two things: First, an outright ban is nuts. What's wrong with giving business owners a choice. I thought America was about freedom of choice. If businesses wanted to go non-smoking, they would. Some here in Columbia already have...which is fine. I still will frequent these places. Also, people have a choice where they work, so employee health isn't reason enough. Neither is customer health, as they have a choice too. I feel like this is prohibition all over again. Secondly, I think that this is something that should be decided by public vote, not by council. After all, whom is going to be affected the most by the outcome....the public of several thousand, or the council of 7. This is probably a moot point, as the vote probably would have been a yes for the ban anyway. Still, would've been nice to have a voice.

Bested and Rested

2006-10-02T13:13:00.000-07:00

Bowling went better this week. I bowled in the 130's and 140's. Jade's game, however, is blowing up. The week before last she got some tips from another left handed bowler. This week she went from bowling around 100 to bowling over 140. She beat me at least one, if not two games. It's amazing what moving a couple of boards over can do for your game. My hook ball continues to develop. I've finally figured out how to thow it without consistently going in the gutter. I only guttered 3-4 times this week (minus trying to pick up the 10 pin a couple times). Work is going well and I'm much less stressed. I love the fact that I leave at 4:30 almost every day and that my evenings are my own. Now, I just have to find a way to fill them.

bowling update

2006-09-16T14:25:00.000-07:00

Well, the new orb is going to take some time to get used to. I bowled absolutely gash. My first game throwing a hook was a whopping 71 points. I threw more gutters than I had since highschool. My straight game was a respectable 148. The holes are spread differently than I'm used to, so it was difficult to adjust my throw. Also, the pin reaction was much different than a house ball. With the straight throw, the ball would just go right through the pins, rather than making them bounce around. I had a harder time than usual getting strikes. The pin patterns that were left for spares were also completely different than the ones I usually leave. My third game I went back to a hook. I rolled around 100 that game. So, much practice is needed. On a positive note, when I actually threw a decent hook, the pins just laid down for me. It looked like they were hit with a small wave of water is the best explanation for how it looked. My ball seems to be very forgiving in pocket accuracy. I got a couple of solid looking strikes when I really didn't hit the pocket very well.

I am free

2006-09-16T14:20:00.000-07:00

Finally,

Friday was my last day working at the University Hospital. I start Monday at the College Ave. office. I'm not going to miss that place one damn bit. I won't have to do weekday call anymore, and will only help on weekend call once every 5 weeks. My new job will be more like most any other orthotic office in the country. The patient's will actually come to the office and I won't have to travel much at all, if any. No more walking up and down the halls of that hospital. No more bloody car crash victims. No more Cerebral-spinal fluid leaking out of people's noses and ears. No more gaping holes from self inflicted gunshot wounds. No more collapsed skulls where you can see the brain pulse directly under the skin. No more shit covered hospital beds.

Wow,

I can't believe I actually stayed at that job over 2 years.

Here's to new beginnings.

2006-09-14T16:50:00.000-07:00

test

The orb doth rise like a golden phoenix

2006-09-13T21:30:00.000-07:00

Behold, your downfall!!!!!

This is my new orb, forged in the fire of hades and cooled to a perfectly round shape in the river Styx.

ok, maybe not, but it was a modestly priced ball that I liked the look of. It was more difficult picking out this ball than I thought it would be. For one, I have no idea what the numerical values mean when they speak of hook potential, back end, etc. I basically tried to find a ball that had a moderate hook potential and that was suited to medium dry to medium oily lanes. I figured that way it would kind of be an all situations ball. Right now I'm a moderate bowler at best. I had it drilled for throwing a straight ball, but I figure I can use it for the hook as well. Although, the guys at the bowling alley sounded like they would drill it differently for a hook ball. I don't understand what they would do differently, maybe placement of the holes so as not to mess with "the core". Anyway, the guy also said that by drilling it this way, it would hook more....which doesn't make any sense to me at all. I was also surpised at how many measurements they took to use in the drilling process. I figured it would be just small, med, or large based on the sample ball they have on the counter. Apparently not. The guy put several marks on my hand and used a couple of different devices for measurements. He also slid cylinders on my fingers to check the diameter size. I went with ones a little large so my fingers wouldn't stick. It's kinda like an eye test when they ask what is better, 1 or 2. Hopefully I didn't mess it up too bad, but I know what I like in a hole ;) I declined to have the plugs put in the holes, mostly because I'm a girly man that doesn't have the finger strength to grip with just my fingertips. They said it will be ready tomorrow, and league is Friday, so I will post the results this weekend. Hopefully it improves my game, god knows it couldn't possibly get worse.
As to you Aaron.....prepare you're ice ball to get melted!

Memories, like fingerprints, are slowly raising

2006-09-11T16:37:00.000-07:00

Memories, in the corner of my mind
Misty, water-colored memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures....

Anyway,
The last time I was in Kansas City I brought home what I lovingly refer to as my "box of stuff". It's basically all the junk I decided to keep throughout the years. It started out as a shoe box and has grown to fill about half of a foot-locker (my old boy scout foot locker, surprisingly, is still around). I have been on vacation since Friday, so today I decided to take a trip down memory lane. The thing about going through a box of old stuff is that you are never sure what you will run into. Some things brought a smile to my face. Some things brought up old bad memories. Some things made me yearn for days gone by and the excitement of youth. Some things made me chuckle at the naivete and earnestness of my earlier days. Some things made me realize that memory is fleeting in a very concrete sense. Some things made me think, I can't believe I actually kept that!

Besides the usual assortment of love letters, matchbooks, birthday cards, concert tickets, and movie stubs I found some interesting keepsakes. Here are some of the more unusual ones:

1. an old, cheap digital watch that I wore in high school....it was still running! (that's at least 13-14 years old!)
2. My fabulous clip on tie that I had to wear at McDonald's
3. Nametags from McD's, QuickTrip, and various other jobs
4. A matchbox car with a key that locks the doors that Sean gave me on my 16th birthday
5. 2 hood ornaments that I ripped off cars in my hoodlum days (one was a buick, the other was a mercury cougar....I know...classy)
6. My favorite watch from when I was 18 (the crystal is completely smashed and I have no recall of how that happened)
7. Numerous names and phone numbers scribbled on bar napkins and paper (I had zero recall of about 80% of these people)......see what I mean about memory being fleeting?
8. My high school class ring
9. A postcard from Sean's vacation to Florida....he was 14 or 15 at the time (point of interest....he saw lots of SKATERZ that were good at ollies but stinky at bonelesses)
10. A letter Aaron sent me when I was at college in Kirksville that should have been confiscated and ended with the arrest of either one or both of us, but didn't.
11. A toy cannon that I bought at Fort Osage I think. That was when I was about 10-12 years old.
12. Another letter from Aaron with autographed pictures from "uate-a-my-poopa" as well as poorly photoshopped pictures of Christina Applegate
13. A tikki necklace my girlfriend bought me in Mexico...I was 17.
14. A ton of lighters, both standard and zippo. I have the lighter that was with me when the phrase "man-camp" first came into inception. It was also the night of the wilderbeast. It's got holographic little circles all over it and is color changing from yellow to orange to blue.
15. I also have many Total lighters, which reminded me of the phat life we lived off an expense card.
16. Aaron's college graduation schedule
17. A fantastic Captain Morgan's keychain
18. Several killer pewter statues of wizards and dragons from high school (I shuddered that I actually valued these things)
19. A piece of paper that I wrote on for a couple of hours while under the influence of a very strong substance circa 1996 (It was complete gibberish, mostly Butthole Surfer lyrics)
20. My rainbow colored rastafarian hat, as well as "the captain's hat"

Wow,
What the hell was I thinking back then?

That was just a small list of the things I came across. The best stuff was letters and old cards that people had given me over the years. I went back and read most of them. The sad part is that I can hardly remember things they mentioned in these letters. It's funny that things that mean so much to you at one point in your life are almost completely erased from memory later on down the road. It was still fun to try to piece together what may have been occuring at that point in history.

So, I took this opportunity to add all the "stuff" over the last two years to the box and tucked it back into the closet, not to be opened for another 5-10 years. Kinda like an ever growing time capsule.

week 2 of league

2006-09-09T14:43:00.000-07:00

Well, after last week my average was 158.....better than I thought it would be. This week I managed to drop that by 20-30 points. I bowled god awful. I ended up with a 142, 134, and 102. The old lady that bowls on our team scored a 217 in one game. I just couldn't get into a rythm. I've also decided to finally get a ball, as my bag is basically a 15 pound carrying case for my shoes. I'm ordering it right after I finish this post, which is now. Ciao
-J

Celebrity siting

2006-09-09T14:38:00.000-07:00

This one is a little late in coming. Last weekend Jade and I went to the Irish Festivial in Kansas City. There were a lot of good bands to see. As usual, most of the merchandise was shitty Irish knock-offs made in China. I ended up buying a Boulevard rugby shirt because I was cold. It's a nice shirt though. Also, I bought a framed Boulevard Louis and Clark poster, which came with another free poster. As for celebrity sitings, my mom met the lead singer of The Elders, a local Irish band that is pretty big. She got the new cd autographed for Jade. Right before my mom met up with us to give us the cd I saw Chris Porter, the runner up in the most recent Last Comic Standing. He walked right by me. It took me a second to place him, and by the time I realized who it was, he was already past me. That was literally my first encounter with someone famous outside of seeing someone on stage or at a ballgame. Has anyone else every met anybody famous or seen them in public?

Best concert ever

2006-08-28T15:27:00.000-07:00

Wow.
That's all I can really say....wow. Jade and I went to St. Louis for the weekend to see Sonic Youth and The Flaming Lips at the Pageant. After getting lost in East St. Louis and fearing for our lives a little bit, we finally made it to our hotel in Forest Park. We spent the afternoon at the science museum. It was pretty cool. They had a large hands on area that reminded me of the Exploritorium in San Fransisco. Most of it was geared towards kids, but hey, I just a kid in a grown-up's body. So, I had a blast playing with all the displays. I could have spent a couple of hours more there, but it was crowded with kids. The rest of the museum was rather standard. It had the typical dinosaur exhibit and geological content....most of which isn't hands on. They had a small section about architectual engineering...which was interesting. Later that night, we had Japanese food for dinner and martinis at a cool bowling alley called Pin-Up Bowling. It was a martini bar with 8 lanes of bowling. They had Vargas pin-up girls all over the walls. Aaron would have loved it. The best thing was....no kids or teens. I had an idea for an over 21 bowling alley awhile back. It was kinda bittersweet to see it had already been done. There's nothing new under the sun. Anyway, we get to the venue and it's really nice. Twice as big as the Blue Note and much cleaner. We had the most amazing spot to stand that I've ever had at a show. we were about 20-30 feet from the stage, where the floor is raised a tier. We were at the front of the teir, so we had a clear view of the entire stage, with no heads to block our view. We held our spot with zealous determination against the mob of drunk and high people trying to push their way forward. The opening band was okay, I think they were called The Magic Numbers. Sonic Youth went on second. They were fantastic. We'd seen them before in Columbia, but this was an even more intense show. For 40 somethings, they rock HARD.

Now, on to The Flaming Lips.
I'm going to try to describe this as accurately as possible, to try to express the shear "eventfullness" of their show.

The band comes on stage. The bass player is dressed as a skeleton, the guitarist/keyboardist is dressed as a space commander, and the lead singer is in a suit. They start their first number off with a bang...literally. 2 monstrous confetti machines start spewing mass amounts of confetti in a massive explosion out over the audience, all the way up into the balcony. On the right side of the stage appear a dozen people all dressed as Santa Claus, waving handheld spotlights. Captain America was also on the right. On the left side, a dozen women dressed as sexy mini-skirt wearing aliens appear. They wore green alien masks with big eyes. They too wielded spotlights. Superman was on this side. The lead singer has this tube gun that shoots multicolored streamers all the way too the ceiling. He would use this throughout the act. All over a sudden, about 30 (at least) 2 1/2 foot diameter balloons were released on the crowd. These were batted around by the audience and the band. I have no idea how a band could play through all that chaos, but they did. Oh yeah, they had a 40 foot video screen behind the band that showed video clips and a fish-eye lens view of the singer. As they went into their second number, Captain America and Superman picked up the balloons as they landed on stage and removed them. Confetti and streamers would appear throughout the show. The go-go aliens and Santas would remain on stage for the entire show. Eventually, two giant balloons got passed around (they were about 6-10 foot in diameter). Every song they played was one I wanted to hear (with the exception of She don't use jelly). I didn't get to hear two songs from Yoshimi, but that's okay because every other song I couldn't have done without either. Speaking of Yoshimi....the singer used a puppet of a nun to sing that song. Oh yeah, he also came out with two gigantic synthetic hands on and would clap to the rythm (they were about 4-6 feet across and looked very realistic). He also blew up one more balloon on stage that was about 15 feet in diameter, and was filled with money. He blew it up till it popped and money rained down on the audience (that part made me wish I was closer to the stage). All the songs sounded great. The singer was awesome with the audience. There was a lot of dialogue with us. One of the Santa's was celebrating her 16th birthday, and he had the band and audience sing happy birthday to her. Talk about something you would never forget. That seemed to be the overall theme for the night, having a fun and unforgettable experience.

I've been to somewhere between 30-40 concerts in my life and this one was the absolute best ever by leaps and bounds. I highly recommend seeing The Flaming Lips if you get the chance. It's worth it even if you have to travel to see them. This show made me want to compile a list of the best shows I've seen. Five is too low a number, so I'll go with 7. The order is based on techincal ability, atmosphere, and stage presence.

7. Violent Femmes
6. Stone Temple Pilots
5. Incubus
4. Jane's addiction
3. Jethro Tull
2. Tool
1. The Flaming Lips

Let's bowl, let's bowl, let's rock 'n roll

2006-08-28T15:06:00.000-07:00

So, Jade and I finally joined a league. It started Friday night. We went to the meeting at 6pm. I got there early and watched people filter in. Everyone that walked in the door had to be either a: 70 plus years old, b: a complete hick, c: a complete goober (see b). I was very disheartened. I only saw one other guy my age. Jade and I sat through their 30 minutes boring ass meeting just to find out that we were the only 2 oddballs....everyone else already had a complete team. They basically ended up taking a vote to see if they wanted to allow us to bowl....they didn't. So poo on them. The manager was very nice though, he said another league that just started last week might have an opening. The manager of the league was a guy in his mid thirties and he was cool enough to let us join. We ended up bowling against his team that night. It looked like this league was comprised of younger players, which is nice. As Jade has already mentioned, another straggler ended up joining our team. It was some weird 60 yr old lady who didn't hardly talk to us all night. She had a daughter that I think was mildly retarded and had a huge burn scar on her arm. The mother seemed embarrassed to have her around, which made me sad. The daughter seemed nice enough, just kinda slow. Hopefully we can add 2 more people next week so we have a full team. Anyway, bowling went well. It was rather strange though. Everyone on the other team kept high-fiving us on almost every frame. It was a little creepy, especially since I don't even like to shake hands. We bowl 3 games a week. I did fairly decent with 165, 165, and 145. I think I drank a little too much beer and that affected my last game. The nice thing is that they leave the lights on, and I don't have to listen to crappy rap music. The next step is getting my own ball, which I'm going to look for tonight online. I ended up being captain for our team. Jade came up with the name "Spare Change". Everyone really liked it, so we went with it. The only other name I could come up with was "The Jive Turkeys"....which I thought was funny as hell. Maybe not appropriate in mixed company though. Hopefully this turns out to be a fun league, as we are in it for the long haul. It doesn't end until May of next year. Wish us luck!

I feel special

2006-08-22T16:56:00.000-07:00

I just got carded for cigarettes at the tender age of 31. Warms my heart.

world weary

2006-08-15T15:38:00.000-07:00

just because...

"Muzzle"
by Smashing Pumpkins

I fear that I'm ordinary, just like everyone
To lie here and die among the sorrows
Adrift among the days
For everything I ever said
And everything I've ever done is gone and dead
As all things must surely have to end
And great lovers will one day have to part
I know that I am meant for this world
My life has been extraordinary
Blessed and cursed and won
Time heals but I'm forever broken
By and by the way...
Have you ever heard the words
I'm singing in these songs?
It's for the girl I've loved all along
Can a taste of love be so wrong
As all things must surely have to end
And great lovers will one day have to part
I know that I am meant for this world
And in my mind as I was floating
Far above the clouds
Some children laughed I'd fall for certain
For thinking that I'd last forever
But I knew exactly where I was

And I knew
the meaning of it all
And I knew
the distance to the sun
And I knew
the echo that is love
And I knew
the secrets in your spires
And I knew
the emptiness of youth
And I knew
the solitude of heart
And I knew
the murmurs of the soul
And the world
is drawn into your hands
And the world
is etched upon your heart
And the world
so hard to understand
Is the world you can't live without
And I knew the silence of the world

It's Hot!

2006-08-11T16:01:00.000-07:00

Need I say more?

Good flick

2006-08-11T15:39:00.000-07:00

I finally got around to seeing this movie. I'm surprised I didn't catch it sooner, as it was high on the list of movies I wanted to see. Jade and I saw it 2 days before it left the theater. The animation was absolutely gorgeous, although some of it made my eyes hurt (some of the characters wear camoflauge suits that project ever-changing images of different people and outfits every second).The movie was very dialogue heavy, most of it was pretty damn funny. A lot of the situations reminded me of "experiences" I had in my late teens/early twenties. The plot was pretty cool as well, although it felt like it was going nowhere until near the end. I think I will appreciate it more the second time I see it. The acting was suberb too, for the most part. Robert Downey Jr. was fantastic. As was this guy->

I can't remember his name, but he played the main pothead in Dazed and Confused (the one that talked about the creepy stuff happening on a dollar bill). Winona Ryder was not that great ( I never thought she was much of an actress). And, of course, Keanu Reeves sucked balls. Even when he's animated, he's not animated. Can somebody expain to me how he ends up getting roles in what otherwise would be great movies? Overall, a good flick that I can't wait to see again. The next movie that I hope to see is Talledega Nights....I need a silly movie. After that, it's Little Miss Sunshine.

Product Warning

2006-07-28T15:42:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know...this is usually Cassie's territory, but I felt I had to tell the story of a product that, while may not be crappy, is definitely not worth the money. The product in question in Kirby vacumn cleaners. Our friend Mindy started a job selling them and is in training. The job is atrocious, as you are to first pimp the product to your friends and family, and then eventually go door to door. I didn't even know people still did door to door sales. So, she wanted to come by and do a demonstration. We said okay of course. I was actually looking to get a new vacumn cleaner as ours has a tiny bag that fills up after just a couple of rooms. She comes over and tells us a little bit about the product. It's an industrial strength vacumn that is supposed to be twice as strong as one you can buy in stores. It looked like an old fashioned vacumn....made of steel. It was pretty complicated to put together and to change attachments. She showed us the specialty filters that are made of surgical grade cloth so particles don't get past it. She vacumned part of the floor and it was obvious that the filter and the vacumn did a good job. The crazy part was that she was supposed to vacumn so much of our house that she used 100 filters. That would take at least 2 hours. I wasn't going to have her vacumn the whole place and take that much time, since she was a friend. If it wasn't someone I knew, I might have them vacumn the whole place. So, I had her cut to the chase. I asked to feel the amount of vacumn that the upholstery attachment pulled. It didn't feel any stronger than my regular vacumn. It also didn't do a good job of cleaning the stairs until she used an attachment that wasn't designed for that purpose (strike 1). We also asked where we could get replacement bags since they were an unusual shape and material. She had to call her boss and ask him. Turns out you can only get the bags online or in their store (strike 2). So, I finally asked her how much they cost. She pulled out a pre-printed "estimate" that would tell you the cost with the trade-in of your old vacumn. After trade-in it was 1700$ (obviously, strike three)! I felt bad, but I literally had to laugh at that. What nut-job would pay 1700 for a vacumn cleaner....besides the seriously obssesive compulsive. She again called her boss...which was awkward for us. He said he could drop that down to 1200. Again, peels of laughter. I told her, "no disrespect, but I was thinking it would be about 500 bucks, no way would I pay that much for a tool that I hate to use anyway." To top it off, Mindy said that everytime she called her boss, he would literally scream at her to make that sale, and that he could pay monkeys with bannanas to do this job. That alone was why I decided to write this post. I don't think anyone should give money to a company that treats its employees that poorly. Other than that, the vacumn was okay....but not worth the price.

Taxi Ettiquette

2006-07-28T15:32:00.000-07:00

Okay, this post has been a long time coming. Several weeks ago we took a cab to downtown Columbia to see the battle of the bands at the Eastside Tavern. So, the cabbie picked us up and started driving down the road. He decided not to turn on a street and get on the highway...which was the fastest way. I didn't say anything at that point, but I was pissed. So, a mile up the road out of our way is another chance to get on the highway. I figured he was going to screw us a little by taking the back way to get to the highway. So, I expected him to take his next chance and get on 70. As we neared the intersection, it was apparant that he had no intention of getting on the highway at all. Instead, it looked like he was going to take us 10 minutes out of our way to get to where we were going. At this point I was really pissed and exclaimed "Dude, take 70!" He almost missed his chance to take the highway. After that, I wasn't going to take any chances, so I told him exactly what route I wanted to take to get to the bar (which is the shortest/fastest). The point of all this is....has anyone else been in a situation like that and, if so, what is the proper ettiquette? I was outraged that he was taking us for idiots that don't know where we are going. So, do you call the dispatcher on him? Not tip him? Yell at him for taking advantage of you? Is it appropriate to tell the driver that he's taking a shitty route? I ended up letting him keep the change, which ended up being about a buck. Hopefully he got the hint, but in retrospect I wish I would've been more vocal about the poor treatment. We used another cab company to get back home that was both cheaper and faster.

This one's for the Simpsons lover in all of us...literally

2006-07-25T15:45:00.000-07:00

Who knew Lisa Simpson was such a little dirty slut. My, oh my....world's going to hell in a handbasket.

Dining Room

2006-06-30T15:23:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of the dining room we just finished. It was a royal pain in the ass. I highly don't recommend painting with red. You have to use a pink primer, wait 24 hours, paint the first coat, wait 24 hours, second coat, 24 hours, 3rd coat, 24 hours, then a fourth coat. It's hard to tell from the picture, but the top is gold with sponge painted light brown and lighter yellow white. It turned out very light and looks kinda marbled. Not bad, but I think we used too much glaze so the top colors don't show much. Overall it took us from Sunday till Friday to finish, with the border going on last. The border was also a pain, self adhesive my ass. Next it's on to the living room and hallways. I figure to have the entire inside repainted in a month or two.

Say them out loud.....hilarious

2006-06-27T16:24:00.000-07:00

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."

IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - noun. A tool.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"

TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ.

HOD - adverb. Not easy.
Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."

RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."

TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."

RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."

LOT - adjective. Luminescent.
Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."

FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... Must be from some farn country."

DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: "He can't breathe ... Give 'em some ear!"

BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JU-HERE - a question.
Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?"

HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... Haze ignert."

SEED - verb, past tense.

VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... View?"

HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action.
Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"

GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"

Hank Williams 3 and the Damn Band + Assjack=awesome

2006-06-26T15:47:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody,

I had a nice 3 day weekend. On Friday I finished painting our dining room. I think it turned out pretty good. I'll post pictures shortly. I'm now on to the living room and hallways. I figure the entire inside of the house will be repainted in a month or two. On Saturday, I had a couple of friends come down from KC to See Hank 3 and Assjack. I cooked kabobs and we hung out on the deck until it was time for the show. We stopped by the most kick ass dive in town, the Eastside Tavern. I've mentioned it before...it's the horror/sci-fi bar. I had to show some other people what I consider to be the best bar in town for atmosphere. I can't help but to feel deliciously evil when I'm there. We had a quick beer there and then headed over to the Blue Note. The place was packed, so we got kinda crappy spots to stand. We got there at 8:30 and Hank went on not too long after that. I guess we missed the opening band. Hank started off with the country set and it absolutely rocked. He played a lot of classic country, some rockabilly, and a couple of covers (Hank JR., Cash, and Coe). Most of the stuff was upbeat and really tight, with lots of fiddle and slide guitar solo's. Hank was really good at interacting with the audience as well. As for the second set, well that was another story altogether. For those of you who don't know, Assjack is Hank's speed metal band. It was crazy. Plum crazy. Basically they played super fast metal and screamed alot. It kinda sucked. I was hoping to hear some songs I knew, but I only heard one song I could recognize. He had this crazy backup singer that would jump around all over stage. When somebody hit Hank between the eyes with a coke can, the other singer picked it up and proceeded to smash it into his forehead and cheek. He ended up getting cuts all over one side of his face. 10 minutes later, half his face was covered in blood. It was very surreal. I kept thinking "thank god I'm not close enough to get that guy's blood and god knows what else on me". There was lots of moshing and apparently some trend I didn't know about.....people fling water on each other. Didn't know that was the thing to do at a punk show. Everyone got a little wet, and a lot pissed off. We retired to my house for some Yahtzee and a late night XBox session. Overall, a pretty good show. I just wish I would've heard more metal songs I know. Also, I'm stoked for a couple of shows we are going to see. In early August we are going to see "the Nuge" at the Blue Note, and then in late August we are going to see Sonic Youth with THE FLAMING LIPS!!!! I can't wait for that show...I love the Flaming Lips. I've seen Sonic Youth and they put on a good show as well. Anyway, time to do some finishing touches to the dining room so I can post some pictures. Laters.

The Seven Stages of Drunkeness: an Exercise in Progression

2006-06-11T15:32:00.000-07:00

So, I've been waiting until I got the pictures back to do the birthday post. It was a fun day. Jade and I went to a kick ass art fair at Stephen's College Lake. There were about 150 booths with all sorts of paintings, pictures, sculptures, jewerly, etc. I had to exercise massive restriant to keep from spending a ton of money. I ended up buying Jade and my mom some jewelry, and I bought myself a planter.

Later, Aaron came down and 2 of our local friends stopped by. We started out with Daquiri's, then moved to beer. Nicki and Dana brought me a bottle of crown that led to this.

Aaron also came bearing gifts.....his was a bottle of Patron that led to this.

Then this.

Later, we went bowling...thankfully, we took a cab as I'm sure nobody was in the shape to drive. I got a free shot at the bowling alley, and that is about the last thing I have a clear memory of. We all bowled crappy. I don't have any recolection of putting on my bowling shoes and very well may have bowled in my street shoes. Much fun was had at the bowling alley as evidenced by this.

A couple of pitchers of beer later, and this was the result.

We headed home and then Patron reared its ugly head again, with dire results as evidenced by this.

Jade, ever the level headed one....recommended that we start drinking water. Aaron was grateful, and I think I had a glass. Apparently, I wanted to take another shot of Patron at this point......Jade tried to talk me out of it but I kept saying "balls to the wall, balls to the wall" and took the shot anyway. That was a big mistake. All of a sudden all that booze caught up with me. Before I made it to bed I succeeded in the following: accidentally slamming the door into the wall which broke a picture and put a hole in the wall, bruising both of my arms somehow, and basically stumbling around until I found my way to the bed. I drifted off into a coma and emerged the next day at noon to eat. I then promptly went back to bed until 3pm. I felt sorry for Aaron, he had to get up and play softball the next day. Overall, a good time was had by all...I hope it never happens again! :)

Geeked Out

2006-06-11T15:06:00.000-07:00

So I was watching Star Wars: Episode 3 at 3 in the morning last night and I got to thinking about some things that bug me about Star Wars.

1. In every space battle the ships, debris, robots all act as though they are flying through atmosphere, not space. Things get blown away as if there is wind. In episode 3, a giant command ship loses it's engines and proceeds to fall out of space onto a planet....wouldn't it just continue in whatever direction it was going?

2. All the ships have engines that allow for vertical take off, so why are most of the ships shaped like planes? The don't actually have to get lift. The exception that I can think of is the Millenium Falcon...no wings....flies just fine.

3. Jedi fights: If jedi's have the ability to levitate massive objects, why is it that when they fall they don't just levitate themselves to keep from hitting the ground? In episode 3, Anakin is hanging from an elevator shaft by his hands...why not just levitate? Same goes for the fight scene with Yoda and Sidious.

4. Why is it that Darth Vader knows Luke is his son, but in Episode 4 doesn't realize that he has captured his own daughter?

5. This one pisses me off almost as much as the space battle one. There is no way in hell that Obi-Wan and Anakin can fight on the lava planet. They would fry in a second. But, there they are, jumping platform to platform 6 inches away from molten lava.

All gripes aside, I like the series. I decided to do a list of my top five favorite characters from the star wars universe.

1. Yoda...by far
2. Obi-Wan
3. Han Solo
4. Darth Vader...not Anakin Skywalker (he sucks azz)
5. Princess Leia

Honorable mentions: Admiral Ackbar, Watto, Greedo ( I always liked him), Jabba, Lando Calrissian, Boba Fett, General Grievious

Dishonorable mentions: Luke (he's so damn whiny), Anakin (same reason), Jar-Jar Binks, Salicious Crumb (Jabba's little pet thing), and of course, C-3PO.

Memorial Day

2006-05-31T17:10:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone had a fun and safe Memorial Day weekend. Mine was okay. I thought about going to KC, but ended up being to apathetic. Instead, we went out to a Brazilian steak house. It was pretty good, if a little overpriced. Saturday we went to a party. It was strange. An old coworker invited us. The funny thing is, she hasn't invited us anywhere since she stopped working for Hanger. I figured that pretty much meant we weren't friends. So, out of the blue she invites us over to watch UFC. I'm not big into that, but wanted some socialization...so we went. I'm glad we did. It was a good time, got to play some washers and talk to some people from work that I see daily, but barely know. Sunday we took it easy. Monday, we went to a friends party. They always have good food. They also had horseshoes and volleyball. We had a pretty good time there, even though we didn't know that many people. I was drunk by 4 in the afternoon. Other than that, life continues to suck balls. I hate my job more and more each day that passes. I think it's time for me to blow this popsicle stand. That is all.

Meet Bob

2006-05-17T15:43:00.000-07:00

Thanks to enzyte, Bob has a generous swelling of pride......
Awhile back, somebody made a post about giving alchohol to your plants to increase their growth. I commented that it worked with Bob back when I lived in Kansas City. I don't feed Bob near as much beer as I used to, but he still gets some now and again. Just look at him!!! He's huge! When I transtported him down here 2 years ago his branches only came to the bottom of the planter. Last fall, I trimmed him again, this time to about 1/4 of what you see here. This guy is out of control...I think he's secretely on the juice. I haven't measured him, but I think the longest "tendril" is at least 6 feet long, maybe more. Alas, It's almost touching the floor and it keeps getting caught in my dresser drawers, so I have to trim him again. I had to post a picture of Bob in all his majesty so that mankind may benefit from gazing upon his awesomitude.

Literary giants

2006-05-12T15:25:00.000-07:00

I found these to be freakin' hilarious. Comment on which is your fave. Mine is about the fall from a building that was like a garbage bag full of vegetable soup.

Kids Are Getting Smarter

School Comics

Actual Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School

1. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

9. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

23. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a bear trap or something.

24. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

25. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

26. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

27. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.

28. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

29. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

30. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

In the Ghetto.....late post

2006-05-03T15:59:00.000-07:00

I live on the edge of a ghetto. Usually I get the pleasure of hearing shitty rap music blaring too loud. Every couple of days I get to hear people yelling at their kids. Last Sunday I experienced a new little joy...violence. Jade and I were watching tv when a loud car stopped in front of our house. Trailing the car were three people yelling...two guys and a girl. They are shouting at the people in the car. The driver gets out of the car wielding a +4 baseball bat of smashing and starts shouting "what's up? whatchoo gonna do?, etc" The other 3 people back off a bit, but continue yelling. The driver gets back in the car and the two other guys start kicking it as it lays rubber up the road. I think that's it, but oh no...not even close. The guy turns around up the street and tears back down the road about 50 miles an hour or so. When they get in front of the house he slams on the brakes and SWERVES TO HIT THE GIRL. Now, in retrospect, I believe it was posturing. But shit, he came within a foot or two of hitting her. More shouting occurs, the driver turns up the next street and gets out of his car and starts swinging his baseball bat around. At this point I decide to do something I've never done before....I called the cops. I thought about just letting them go at it (after all, what business is it of mine), but I was afraid someone was going to get seriously hurt. I couldn't find the number for the cops in the front of the phone book (kinda surprising), so I had to call 911. Turns out somebody else had already called about the same disturbance. By this point they had moved up the next street. I could still here them shouting but couldn't see what was happening. 3 cops cars came and that was the last I heard of it. Gotta love the ghetto, always something exciting going on. On that note, it's time to get some home protection for myself. You never know when you need to defend yourself and I don't even have a baseball bat.

Burned out and in search of new ear candy

2006-04-26T15:40:00.000-07:00

Well, it finally had to happen. I have 400 albums and am pretty much tired of everything I listen to. So, I decided to ask everyone what they are currently listening to. Hopefully, I can't get some ideas for good new music. The way it works is thus: List the top five albums that you currently have in rotation....in no particular order. Just the top 5 albums that you listen to the most, currently. I know some of you don't even listen to albums anymore now that you have mp3 players. I'm a little old fashioned. I mix it up. I usually listen to mp3's at home and single albums in my car. I'd prefer albums, but if you have a couple of songs that are in heavy rotation, I wouldn't mind hearing about them as well. Please list artist and title. So, to get the ball rolling, here are my top 5 albums playing in my car. (in no particular order)

1. The Flaming Lips- At War with the Mystics
2. Built to Spill- Keep it like a Secret
3. Modest Mouse - The Lonesome Crowded West
4. The White Stripes - Get Behind me Satan
5. Frank Black - Honeycomb

Looking forward to seeing your pics.
-J

Creative, ain't it?

2006-04-22T14:52:00.000-07:00

Ask a stupid question....

2006-04-10T16:46:00.001-07:00

Okay, the is a stupid question. We all remember being told that mammals and birds are warm blooded and that amphibians, fish, and bugs are cold blooded. My question is....why are they cold blooded. I figure that most animals' cellular structure is similar to each other, especially animals with a circulatory and nervous system. Humans produce heat by our chemical reactions in our cells....don't fish do that as well? If not, what about this. When we are cold, we shiver. The rapid contractions of our muscles produce heat to warm us up. Also, any movement produces heat in our bodies (exercise, walking, even getting up out of chair). Since cold blooded animals for the most part have skeletons and muscles similar to ours, wouldn't they produce heat as well? So, my only other thought is that both phylums can create heat, but perhaps we are labeled warm blooded due to our ability to retain heat. Anyway, does anybody actually remember learning not just the "what" but the "why"?

The Adventure and the Resolution

2006-03-29T15:36:00.000-08:00

A title of one of my favorite Frank Black songs, and also the topic of this post. The following is a true account of the trials and tribulations I went through to get my xbox360. Backstory: Last November I went to try to get a xbox 360 on opening day. Of course, they were out. Several months passed and I started to get the itch to go buy one again. I figured, "Hey, it's March...they should be easy to find.". Not true, not true. Everytime I went to Best Buy or Wal-Mart I would look for one. Ever since I was in KC and saw my friend that has one, I've had the fever. So, in the last 2 weeks, I've visited Best Buy, 3 Wal-marts, Circuit City, Toys R Us, Slackers, and EB games at least a couple times each.

The Adventure: Nobody had a frickin clue when any new systems would be coming in. I finally got some answers at EB games (the 4th or 5th time I went there). They told me that a couple of systems come in every week or so. I asked if I could get on the reservation list and they said they weren't doing that anymore. So, basically it was first come first serve every couple of weeks to try to get 1 to 3 systems. The odds weren't looking good. I asked them if they new when their next shipment was coming and they said Monday or Tuesday. On Monday, I spent my lunch hour hanging out at EB games waiting for the UPS guy to show up. I finally ran out of time and had to go back to work. Just as I was leaving, I saw the UPS guy coming. So, I waited around and found out that the systems didn't come in. The guy at the counter informed me that they would be there Tuesday. I go back to work empty-handed and empty-stomached (I didn't have time to eat after waiting).

During the afternoon I was able to convince myself that I would need a high-definition tv to completely enjoy the xbox360 experience. I looked up prices on BestBuy.com and found out that CRT HD tv's weren't too expensive. I always wanted a big flat screen plasma tv for my HD tv, but I can't affort one at the moment. My first stop was to Best Buy, they had a nice 30" model with a nice picture for a good price. Unfortunately, they didn't have any in stock. The clerk said I could buy it now, and they would call me when they get it in (whenever that may be, the clerk didn't know). Well, of course I said screw that. I proceeded next door to Circuit City. They didn't have as good a selection as Best Buy. Nobody seemed that interested to help me and the information posted on the tv's weren't that informative. I found one that was decent, but not great, and marked it as a maybe. I then took a chance and went to Wal-Mart. There selection was even poorer. Most of their tv's weren't even hooked up to a signal. The prices were good, but I didn't want to take a chance on it. So, my last ditch effort was Sears. Success. They had a fair selection of tv's at reasonable prices...a little higher than Best Buy. I found a 32" widescreen tv that had a really good picture. I purchase this tv and eagerly go to pick it up. Two men brought it out on a dolly. The box was HUGE. I knew it wouldn't fit in my car unless the box was removed....even then it was going to be a tight fit. Too tight, it turns out. They couldn't clear the rear door handle by maybe 1". There was no way it would fit, but just by a small margin. I was pissed. I went back inside and asked the clerk that sold me the tv if I could have it delivered. He said it would be at least 2 days. Not good enough, since I was hopefully getting the game system the next day. I went back outside and told the dock workers to box it back up, and that I would go in search of a truck. Here's where not having any close friends in Columbia sucks balls. The only person I know with a truck is my boss and I wasn't going to have her come all the way back into town. So, I go to Home Depot. I tried to rent a truck there. The girl asked me if I had already purchased my merchandise. I lied and told her yes. She then asked if she could see the receipt. I told her I didn't have it. By then, she was onto me. She asked if the stuff I was moving was from their store. I fessed up and told her that I was picking up a tv. She said she couldn't rent the truck to me. The complete look of despair and disappointment must have been moving, because she asked how far I was going with it. I told her just to Sears and then back home. She told me not to tell anybody, and that she would rent me the truck. She said she would get in big trouble if anyone found out. God Bless that brave woman. Anyway, I told her how much that meant to me, grabbed the keys, and got the hell out of there before she could change her mind. I drive back to Sears, get the tv, bring it home, and unload it. Jade and I almost dropped it out of the back of the truck. That thing must weigh about 150 lbs. I take the truck back and hook up my tv......no HD yet. All this took 3.5 hours.

So, the next day, I again rush of to EB games at lunch to pick up my system. I only had a half hour since my secretary didn't schedule enough time for my patient. Again, they didn't have it. By this point I'm pissed because I was already having a shitty day. I go back to work and it's busy as hell the rest of the day. About a half hour after I left EB Games, they call me to let me know the system just came in. Great news, the only problem is that I'm so busy that I can't leave work to go get it. Since it's first come, first serve I fumed all afternoon about how it would already be sold before I could go get it. At four, I still had 5 inpatients to see. I set a new world record and saw all 5 in an hour. I leave work on time and once again hit EB Games, so I can get the bad news. Well, they actually had it. I think they actually held it for me. There were only 2 that came in yesterday, and I got the last one. I felt like I found a Golden Ticket. (yeah, I know...you are all thinking...what an obsessed geek. You have to remember, playing video games is my favorite hobby and has been since 1981)

The Resolution: I get home and hook up the system. OH MY GOD! The xbox360 in high definition is something that has to be seen to be appreciated. I was blown away. It was totally worth the time, effort, and cost.

The first game I played was Perfect Dark Zero. A standard FPS. The graphics were unbelievable. I spent most of the time just walking around Non-playing characters and gawking at their detail. I would consider this the first console game that truly looks 3d. 3d games have been around for a long time, but I always found that characters and objects looked kinda flat. Not true in this game. The textures and lighting are amazing. Like I said, I barely played it....just stared for a long time. Here are some screens that don't even really show how well this game looks.

The other game I got was The Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion. Pretty much a living, breathing world that is HUGE. It's kinda a Dungeons and Dragons style game. The graphics on this were good, but not as good as Perfect Dark. The sheer scale of the game is what blows me away. You can literally spend days walking through miles of changing weather and landscapes. Here are some screen from that game. Again...nowhere near as cool as in real life.

That about wraps up the story. Needless to say, I'm headed downstairs now to play. Poor Jade, she won't see me for a month.

This is a test.....

2006-03-21T16:05:00.000-08:00

Heather taught me how to insert pictures appropriately into the body of a post. It is much easier than I thought it would be. She also gave me a test to see if I could do it on my own....so here goes.

This one is exactly how I feel today...It's the second day of spring and cold and snowy...I'm ready for real spring. Notice the lovely leftedness of the picture.

Ok, here's one of my favorite car...the Ford GT40. Noticed the crisp centeredness of this picture, as well as it's location below these words.

The last is a picture of my hometown and Park University. Again, observe my mad skillz of putting the picture to the right.

This concludes the test.

2006-03-16T16:30:00.000-08:00

I tried to post this pic in a post, but it just came up code so I'm doing this the easy way. I just wanted to let everyone know that God of War is possibly the best action game for any system out there right now....it's that good. It's games like this that remind me why I enjoyed Nintendo so much. This is an action/platformer. It doesn't necessarily do anything new...it takes all the good aspects of action/puzzle games and does them so well. The controls are like budda. The graphics are pretty good for the PS2. The story is excellent. The voice acting is excellent. The puzzles and strategies are difficult but not too difficult. And, there are titties.....bare naked polygon titties....and you can't beat that. God bless America. I highly recommend this game to anybody that likes video games. This is the best game I've played in awhile, and I play a TON of games. Not since Resident Evil 4 have I I seen a game this polished. Do check it out if you get a chance.

Gold teeth and a curse for this town, were all in my mouth....

2006-03-02T16:45:00.000-08:00

Yeah,
Life is sucking right now. Our 3rd orthotist is being transferred to Kirksville to take the place of someone that got fired. We couldn't really afford him because it's been mostly slow for several months. Wouldn't you know it, as soon as he leaves we get very busy. This week has been exhausting. So, that means it's back to on call every other stinking day and weekend. I fucking hate it. First, we were going to use one of the other orthotists from the other office every couple of weekends, but he declined. The only glimmer of hope on the horizon is that the other office may hire someone that would share call with us. We would absorb part of her salary. If that occurs....I will only be on call once every 8 weeks. Talk about Heaven! I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Yeah, I would. I'd be in Kansas City every other weekend. So, there's that. Also, somehow our expenses are out of control. I can't figure out how to lower them because most of it has to do with the cost of making a brace and shitty reimbursement from insurance companies (which the contracts were set up by the company). So, if that doesn't improve, they may close our office (they are already doing this in St. Louis). Also, the hospital is breathing down our necks due to the cost they have to incur with indigent patients. They want us to give more and more stuff away for free...which I say bullshit to. They can cut costs in other areas, they just pick on us because it's easiest. So, the hospital is looking into doing orthotics in house and getting rid of us. Luckily, if they break the contract, my no-compete is null and void...meaning I could work for the hospital. Fuck that! There isn't enough in-patient work to justify 2 employees, and besides, that would definitly lock us into on-call every other weekend..which is not acceptable. I don't see how they could do them in house. Nobody would want to work there and be on call that much. Also, they would need to seek out contracts with insurance companies because they would still have to bill for what they do. Either way, I'm getting extraordinarily tired of this same old game. I figure I'll probably be out of a job by summer, maybe sooner if we don't get on-call help. I'm really pissed because I just bought this house and have started making it a home. I don't want to leave...I like Columbia a lot. But, I'm not going to continue with this shitty existance that I call my life. Also, Jade is having a rough time at work and may be looking for a new job. The worst part is that I have no way of knowing what's going to happen in the end. Sure, we may get on-call help, but what if the hospital doesn't renew our contract? Sucks to be me, sucks very much. To boot, I have to get back "on the wagon" (Aaron knows what I mean), just in case I have to keep my options open. This makes me very cranky indeed.

Boo.

2006-03-02T16:44:00.000-08:00

Rockin' out in the bunny suit..had to post this one.

2006-03-02T16:43:00.000-08:00

Me in my Oompa Loompa outfit. I had to remove the "cottage cheese" celing in the bathroom. It has asbestos in it so I had to take precautions. It sucked balls. I spent 2 hours scraping the ceiling and half the stuff didn't come off. About halfway through the goggles were covered in liquid remover, ceiling gunk and fog....I couldn't see more than a foot in front of my face. To hire a professional would have cost 1000 and up.

2006-03-02T16:40:00.000-08:00

Susan Cole at the debate

2006-03-02T16:39:00.000-08:00

Ron Jeremy at the debate

Complete waste of time

2006-02-23T20:30:00.000-08:00

Those are the words I choose to describe the porn debate this evening. I was a fool thinking that it would actually be a rational discourse. It mostly involved a bunch of college age guys yelling obscenities at the woman from NOW. Now granted, I didn't agree with her point of view, but these guys were openly hostile. Also, there were tons of people there using their cell phones to play games or IM. That's okay with me, but why bother being there if that's all your going to do. I watched a girl in front of me play tetris for over 30 minutes. The thing that pissed me off the most was that there was a guy an isle behind us that not only was talking on his cell phone, he had the walkie talkie feature so we could hear the other person he was talking to. I immediately shot him a dirty look. When he didn't get that hint, I turned around and told him to take his fucking phone outside. He looked at me like I was from Mars....completely incredulous that I would dare say that to him. As I posted on Heather's blog, I can't stand people who use cell phones at innapropriate times and places. I literally wanted to pistol-whip him with his phone. I was that mad. Am I crazy? (yeah, I know I am), is there no sense of courtesy left in this world? So, there's that. As for the debate itself, it was piss poor. The opening statements were good, the lady actually was very well organized and well spoken. Poor Ron, on the other hand, was not. He just winged it. At that point they opened up the floor to questions. This is when all the yelling started. Most people didn't have questions...they just wanted their chance to rip this chick to shreds. Out of all the questions....only one person called on Ron to defend his position...and her question was lame. She stated that most people that end up in porn were abused when they were younger. Ron countered by saying that hardly anyone he knew had that kind of upbringing. The girl asking the question just scoffed at that, but who knows more about the porn industry? Some young college girl, or a guy who has been making films for almost 30 years? The same form of naivete or unwillingness to accept the truth also was apparent in the female NOW speaker. First, she postulated that women involved in porn had no choice in their decision based on things that may have happened during their life...I say bullshit, just like the post on homeless people....people always have some sort of choice (even if it isn't as varied as a priviliged suburban white boy such as me). Ron countered by saying that, yes, they have a choice. Many women choose porn as a good way to make money. The NOW lady (I don't remember her name) said that they didn't make good money, and not near as much as men. In actuality, women in porn are paid a lot more than the men. Ron fired back by saying an "average" woman porn star makes about 100k a year. I don't know about you...but that sounds like pretty good money to me. So, it goes round and round in circles like this for about 1 and a half hours...I was bored to tears. I actually had respect for the woman starting out, but that quickly diminished. The thing that cinched it for me was this...in her opening statement she said she was against censoring porn, she just hope to educate people as to how porn is exploitive and derogatory of women so that eventually people would just stop watching it. I don't think she really understands why people enjoy porn. That sounded good to me, that she was at least against censorship. However, later on someone posed the question about gay porn. I should mention here that this woman is a lesbian. So, she says that gay porn is a good thing because it exposes people to an alternative lifestyle. That was all I could take. What a hypocritical bitch. Am I to understand that straight porn exploits people that have no choice but that gay porn is okay and that it's all consensual and loving? What a crock of shit. Now, it may sound like I'm raking this woman over the coals because I don't agree with her viewpoint. It's true, I don't agree with her viewpoint, but her arguements were flimsy, hypocritical, and she constantly dodged questions and backpeddled. Not to say that Ron Jeremy did any better. The only thing he had going for him was his fame, and the fact that he knows the business on a more personal level than his opponent. Ron didn't have any well thought out points. Like I said before, he just winged it. I left having less respect for Ron Jeremy, and no respect for his opponent at all. Like the title says...I considered it a complete waste of time. I'm much more looking forward to the True/False film festival this weekend. I went to get tickets at lunch today (they went on sale at noon) so that we would have a chance this year to actually get tickets to the shows we want to see. I figured it would be an easy in and out. Boy was I wrong...apparently the festival has gotten huge in just 3 years. People were coming here from out of state to see the movies. I ended up standin in line for an hour and 20 minutes to get tickets. The good news is that we got tickets to all the shows we wanted to see. Over the weekend Jade and I will be seeing 8 movies and a concert. It should be a kick-ass time. Last year was awesome, and we didn't even get to see the movies that we really were interested in. That's all for now...it's 11:15. More to come this weekend.

The man, the myth, the schlong

2006-02-17T15:49:00.000-08:00

Next weekI get to meet a great actor and philanthroper. Star of many fine films and a personal role model to yours truly is coming to down. Next Thursday Jade and I are going to see Ron Jeremy debate a woman from NOW. That's right, Ron Jeremy, star of over 1600 porn flicks is coming to Columbia. Should be a pretty fun night. I need to take a movie for him to autograph.....but I don't think he would want to touch it. :)

2006-02-14T16:00:00.000-08:00

It's amazing the things that can randomly happen to a person on any given day. What's more amazing is that people wake up every day and expect a certain layout to their day more or less. Think about it.....every day you wake up a know that you will go to your job a certain route, that certain people will be there, and that your day will go mostly as planned. For the most part, we don't even think of the multitude of possibilities that a day can bring. I find this rather sad, and also a major cause of the monotony of daily life. Today I had a little event happen that reminded me of how random life can be. It starts out a couple of days ago when I was thinking of my early college years in kirksville. I was thinking about the people I knew then, and wondering what they are up to now. Lo and behold, today I get an email asking me to accept Tonya as a friend on MySpace. I wonder if it's the same Tonya that I was thinking about a couple days ago so I click on the link to see her profile. The link just sent me to the set up a new account page. By this point I'm rather curious to find out, so I sign up. MySpace gives me an error message saying that my email address is already being used. So, I go to the sign up page and discover I already had an account. I have no recollection of when I set it up, but apparently I did at one point. I found out that it was the very same person I was thinking about. I hadn't talked to her in about 10 years, so I was rather surprised to see that she contacted me. It's the little things like this that make life interesting. I would love to get in touch with a bunch of people I knew when I was younger, but I never investigated it. It would great to get in touch with people I knew as a kid. Anway, for your enjoyment, here is a picture of me and Tonya, circa 1994. Ok, I absolutely hate trying to post pictures this way. I'm just going to leave it as is so I don't mess up this post. If you were wondering, yeah....that's Boone's apple wine in my hand. I was a complete alchohol pussy. I didn't even drink beer at this point. Eventually, I would move on to Zima and eventually beer. Ah, glorious beer.....I hardly knew ye. Thanks to Shane, Sean, and Aaron for forcing me to finally drink beer. Also notice my svelt figure.....I weighed 135 soaking wet. Those were the days.

Addendum: AMS

funny joke

2006-02-13T15:35:00.000-08:00

I like my women like I like my coffee....

Chopped up and in the freezer.

smile

-J

Fat chicks suck and 70%cocoa chocolate bars rock

2006-02-09T15:47:00.000-08:00

Yup, that's all I have to say. I hate fat chicks. I've had to fit back braces on 250+ pounders all week. It's like trying to put a cylinder on a bean bag. The braces never fit well and the women always complain. Tomorrow I'm fitting two women that are both 54" around the belly...wish me luck. So there's that. Also, I love 70% cocoa dark chocolate bars. I found them at the World Food Market in town. That place is friggin' awesome. There is an entire row of just chocolate from around the world. They also have a million types of hot sauce and peppers. I just found my new favorite grocery store. Those chocolate bars have Hershey's special dark beat by a country mile. Of course, they are a couple of bucks per bar. Other than that, I've been the only one at work all this weeks and needless to say it's been busy and shitty. I'm in complete de-stress mode every night I come home. Hence the lack of posts. I take a little time to read, then vegetate and do no work whatsover for the remainder of the evening. I'll post more next week.

2006-02-02T15:24:00.001-08:00

"The Assman" He kept sticking his hand down the back of his pants. I'd hate to be using his shuffleboard pieces right now.

2006-02-02T15:24:00.000-08:00

The scraggle-tooth smoke

Lazy post

2006-02-02T15:23:00.000-08:00

I'm being antisocial and lazy this week. The following pictures were from last weekend when Aaron and Heather came down. Much fun was had and much tequila was drank. Perhaps too much for Aaron. This week I had my first professional massage. It was a birthday gift from Jade back in June and I'd been slacking on using it. It was a very cool experience. I had the deep tissue massage and basically told the massuese to hurt me.......she did, she hurt me oh so good. I'm actually sore in a couple places today. She also used bean bag pillows that were heated....man, that was awesome. I want to be covered in about 30 of those for an hour or so. Afterwards, I felt extremely energenic. Today was the opposite....my body felt like jello. I was so relaxed I could barely carry on at work. I kept thinking of how great it would be to sleep for about another century or so. My body hasn't felt this limber in years. I can move it without having all my joints pop. Overall, a kick ass experience. Expensive though, so I probably won't be doing that again. Thanks to Jade for an original idea.

2006-02-02T15:21:00.000-08:00

Me and Jade...notice the muscley arms

2006-02-02T15:20:00.000-08:00

Freaky.....just Freaky

Here's to the lady

2006-01-26T16:08:00.000-08:00

Back to back birthdays.....today's is Jade's. I just wanted to let her know how much she means to me. I'm very lucky to have a woman like her in my life, and I appreciate the moments we spend together. Anyone that would put up with my bullshit this long is a gem in my book. So, happy birthday baby....you mean the world to me. I love you.

-J

Here's to the man.....

2006-01-24T16:05:00.000-08:00

Today is Aaron's 5th 23rd birthday. I just wanted to say Happy Birthday to my oldest and best friend. The world is a better place because you're in it. I'll take a shot of whiskey in your honor this evening. I hope you have a great day....you deserve it.

By the way......TAKE A SHOT NIGGA!!!

40 gigs of goodness

2006-01-24T15:58:00.000-08:00

Well, I finally broke down and bought an mp3 player. After seeing how handy Aaron's was on the float trip I decided to get one with a FM transmitter. I ended up getting a Toshiba model. It's pretty cool, small and light with a full color screen. The touch sensitive buttons are a little touchy though. It's taken 3 full days, but I will have my entire music collection on it by tonight. Mostly it took so long because I only have usb 1.0. The first day was tricky getting it to do what I wanted. Windows media player sucks balls for transfering. I have all these nice folders organized by artist and album. When I loaded them up into media player, it would make its own folders based on data on the tracks. So, instead of having a nice organized folder system, the damn thing would break it down based on spelling. So, instead of having one Frank Black folder, I would have 3 or 4 based on spelling and capitalization. Some of the folders would only have one or two tracks. I messed around with that for awhile trying to get it to do what I wanted...but it was useless. I ended up using the proprietary transfer software and it is much better. It keeps my music organized the way that I want it. I can't wait to try it out tonight. I put everything on there....even Dead can Dance just in case Cassie is around sometime and needs a fix. That's all for now....back to work.

2006-01-18T16:19:00.001-08:00

Rockstars

2006-01-18T16:19:00.000-08:00

The entry point

2006-01-18T16:18:00.000-08:00

Viva Las Cabin!!! Friday Night

2006-01-18T16:17:00.000-08:00

Buried car

2006-01-18T16:16:00.001-08:00

Cool roots

2006-01-18T16:16:00.000-08:00

King of the car

2006-01-18T16:14:00.000-08:00

my not so deluxe bedroom hovel

2006-01-18T16:13:00.000-08:00

Aaron's deluxe bedroom suite

Mancamp....HO!!!!!!!

2006-01-10T17:20:00.000-08:00

In preparation for man camp, I spent some time at Bass Pro Shop today buying gear. Man, that place doesn't hold a candle to Cabella's. I thought it was supposed to be the end all, be all sportsman shop.....but it's not all that. For one, the place was tiny....maybe a third or a fourth the size of Cabella's. Also, no live animals? Lame! So, anyway, I stocked up on stuff so I won't be as miserable as the last time I went. Last time it poured rain and I wasn't prepared....I got soaked. I bought some waterproof overalls and jacket. They are so warm I probably won't have to layer much underneath if it's cold. I also bought some ski masks and gloves....I'm set. It'll be my luck that we get there and it's 60 degrees and sunny. Oh well, I know I will have a use for this stuff for years to come. It's bound to be cold at mancamp some year.

2006-01-04T15:54:00.000-08:00

I thought this was a pretty cool photoshop. Could you imagine if they found a human skeleton that big? That would be crazy!

This is funny, be sure to pay attention to the bold type...I mean....WTF?!?

2005-12-30T16:52:00.000-08:00

SEATTLE - A Seattle man died after engaging in anal sex with a horse at a farm suspected of being a gathering place for people seeking to have sex with livestock, police said Friday.

The horse involved in the incident was not harmed, and an autopsy of the unnamed man concluded that “the manner of death was accidental ... due to perforation of the colon,” a police spokesman said.

“The information that we have is that people would find this place via chat rooms on the Web,” said Sgt. John Urquhart of the King County Sheriff’s Department.

Although sex with animals is not illegal in Washington state, Urquhart said that investigators were looking into whether the farm, located in Enumclaw, 40 miles southeast of Seattle, allowed sex with smaller animals that resulted in animal cruelty, which is a crime.

“If you’re talking about sheep or goats, there could be some issues,” Urquhart said.

Callin' bullshit when I see it

2005-12-30T16:10:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm mad as hell and won't take it anymore! The bastards that stock the vending machine at work have hit upon a great idea to make money at the expense of their clientle. The cafeteria has 2 different areas for vending only 30 feet apart. The one in the actual cafeteria sells candy bars for 70 cents. The one outside the cafeteria sells them for 60 cents. They both carry similar candies. Needless to say, I use the cheaper one. So, I recently went to get candy and discovered a horrible change. Half of the rows that had good candy have been "upgraded" to king size, which cost $1.25. So, all that's left of 60 cent candy is crap that nobody wants to eat like Almond Joy and Payday. All of the good candy bars are only available in King Size for that ridiculous price....gas stations don't even charge that much. Not only that, but I got to thinking and figured out that a King Size bar is only 1/3 bigger than a regular bar, yet they are charging over 2 times the price! Highway robbery says I. Also, they are contributing to the fattening of America. Maybe someone wanted a candy bar in regular size but only has the option of getting it in King Size. Of course they are going to eat it all, even though they only wanted a regular size. So, this whole experience has caused me to eat less junk food at work....which is good. When I do want candy, I now go to the gift store. The prices are comparable, and at least there I get genuine human interaction.

Cheers

2005-12-25T07:34:00.000-08:00

Jade and I would like to wish everyone a merry Christmas. May your individual gatherings be full of warmth, merriment, peace, and contentment. I wish I could be in KC to celebrate with a majority of you, but I can't. Know that all of you will be on my mind as we celebrate today.

-Jason

2005-12-21T16:12:00.000-08:00

The tree is up, long live the tree! Bought an artificial one and spent 2 nights putting it up.....complete pain. Gotta go, B-day party to get to, more later.

2005-12-21T16:10:00.000-08:00

A bowling tree.....need I say more?

2005-12-21T16:08:00.000-08:00

This one's called Toobin' Santa. Notice the fine Hawian shirt and the tasty beverage. I thought this one was funny, so I bought it. A must have for the holiday season.

You like me, you really really like me!

2005-12-14T17:01:00.000-08:00

I was going to comment on this earlier. This week I passed the 2000 mark on my counter. I want to thank everyone that made this event possible, even if it took forever. Anyway, Jade wanted me to make a post about the joys of shopping and wrapping....so here goes.

Christmas shopping this year wasn't too bad. I did a blitzkrieg and got almost all of it done in one day. I was off work and went during the day, so the crowds weren't bad. I did manage to spend a boatload of money though. I even succumbed to the impulse buy....there was a guy at a kiosk at the mall that was taking pictures of people's eyes extremely close up. He had a bunch of sample pictures of people's eyes and they looked very cool. It was amazing the amount of variety in striations in different eyes. Some, like mine, have lots of squiggly lines (muscles) showing. Others, looked almost completely smooth...usually brown eyes. So, I talk to the vendor and he offers me a 8 by10 magnet picture of my eye for 10 bucks. Sold, I say! He gave me a free preview of what it would look like. Unfortunately, I had been drinking and smoking the night before and my eyes were extremely bloodshot. It looked like a river of veins. So, I take some clear eyes and go back later. I am now the proud owner of a photo of my eye on the fridge. MY EYE SEES ALL!!! I was surpised at the amount of brown I had in my eye.

So, shopping went fairly well. Wrapping, however, is a whole other story. I spent 4 hours wrapping presents and watching the Chiefs game on Sunday. I took my time and tried to make the presents look good. In the end, it still looks like an eight year old wrapped them. Next year I vow to only use gift bags. 30 minutes, no fuss...no muss. Also, I would like to give a big "Fuck you" to Mylar wrapping paper. That stuff is a bitch to work with.

More Chistmas stress: Jade and I are hosting our parents for the first time for Christmas. That means cooking a large meal for the first time ever. Neither one of us has cooked a turkey before, let alone make interesting side dishes. I think I'm going to get adventurous and cook Turtle Pie and maybe deviled eggs with bacon in them. My cousin makes them and they are insanely delicious. We also have to decide if we are going to get a tree. There are currently only two Christmas decorations at our place...a candle and a wreath. If we get a tree, that means we have to buy all the lights and ornaments to go with it. I also have to find a place to store it (we're getting tight on space). On one hand, we could go without...but that would make the holiday so drab.

Other news: I had a handyman come out last weekend and install new lights in both bathrooms, a vent fan in one bathroom, and a door for the bedroom. It didn't turn out looking as good as I had hoped. I hadn't figured for holes in the wall where the last lights hung. So, the new lights don't match up with the spacing of the old lights so there are open patches of old paint, old wallpaper, and holes in the drywall. It looks pretty shitty. I'll probably start repairing and repainting in January...just because I can't stand looking at it. It will eventually look kick ass though....because I have impeccable style. Other than that, I been spending a lot of time playing vegging and playing video games. Half Life 2 is engrossing my life. The story is great and the environment sucks you in. The physics engine is unbelievable as well, although the shot accuracy isn't the best on a console vs. a pc. That's all I have for now. I'll update in 6-8 weeks or so.

2005-12-14T16:33:00.001-08:00

I figured Jade would appreciate this one.

2005-12-14T16:33:00.000-08:00

I always wondered why ball players wear cups....now I know.

2005-12-14T16:32:00.001-08:00

I thought Cassie would think this would be a kick-ass t-shirt. Whaddya think?