I'm just a sweet transvestite. From transexual Columbiaaaaa, ahaa

Welcome to Columbia Missouri...the transgender capitol of Missouri. Tonight, Jade and I went to see a documentary called American Beer. I highly recommend the movie. It's about 4 guys who visit 38 breweries in 40 days. And I thought I had stamina. Anyway, the night was very cool. Two local brewers brought samples and appetizers, answered questions, and showed the movie. There were 6-7 types of very good beer to be had. My favorite was lemon mead...which isn't really a beer at all. It's fermented honey and lemon, with yeast to make it similar to a beer. That stuff was tasty indeed. Other beers of note include rasberry ale, stout, mai bock, and wheat ale. All in all, it was worth the twenty bucks to get in. I drank at least 20 bucks in beer alone (probably more...they actually served good size glasses), had at least 15 bucks worth of appetizers, and saw a 6 dollar movie. I think I actually came out ahead. It was basically an excuse to have the new brewer in town show off his wares....which in my opinion are much better than the 11 year old resident brewery, Flat Branch. So, now there are two breweries about a quarter mile apart.....me thinks I see many a cab ride home in my future. All this aside, I must address what I feel is an overwhelming amount of "transgendered, transvestive, tran whatever" in this town. For starters...there is a he-she-it that is all over town. This person is very obviously a male in his late 40's that dresses like an old woman on her way to church. Very creepy indeed. I swear he is stalking me....I see him everywhere I go in town. I'm not kidding at all...literally I've ran into "it" at least 6-8 times...which is 6-8 times too many. Tonight, obviously, was the most recent run-in. I had stepped outside the Rag Tag Cinemacafe for a smoke at intermission, and who should be there but the "it" himself. He was in full regalia mind you....strappy little dress, bra, hose, dainty hat, makeup, etc. He was talking to some other dude while I stood a few feet away smoking. It was the first time I heard it speak...and it's definitely a man....or the most ugly, masculine woman I've ever met. So, it only get stranger from there. Soon after, the lesbian association of buttugly incompatible atrocities (or LABIA) come out of the theater and join the "it". Some were purely lesbians...but one looked like a very effeminant man with a small goatee. That was, until she TALKED!!! It was clearly a woman with a beard! She must take testosterone. That certainly was one of the strangest things I've seen in a long time. So they are talking to the guy in drag and are telling him about the "party" coming up. Seems like the whole group gets together for social functions. Now granted, these people are common, but I didn't expect to see such large numbers in Columbia, Missouri just on the street. There was no parade or anything. It was very surreal. I felt like I was in California. I don't want anybody to take this the wrong way...I have nothing against these people. What they want to do or how they want to live is their business and more power to them. I just want to illustrate how completely freaked out I was by the scene unfolding in front of me. Truly a unique experience for this author. I do fear for my life though...as I'm almost sure that the transvestite is following me. "It" is everywhere. Other than that, not much to post. Still hate my job, still don't know if I will even have my job, still working way too much for way too little. Stay tuned to my blog for my take on the chronic obesity of mid-missourians, and how I loathe them in professional situations. Also, my dirty 30th birthday is coming up and I have absolutely no plans. If anyone has any ideas, I'm open to suggestions.

Much more in fear, and still loathing in Columbia
-J