Thursday, April 19, 2007

The saddest'll ever see....

This has to be the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. Who in the world thought that this would be a good idea, let alone funny? There should be a law against middle aged white people trying to act black. I feel sorry for the lone black guy on stage. I wonder what he's thinking during all of this? Probably laughing his ass off. I know I did. Enjoy.

sad kermit doing "hurt"

This is hilarious, but also really sad. I had never paid that much attention to all the lyrics until I heard Kermit's bittersweet voice singing it. Kudos to whomever made this, top notch creativity.

Monday, April 02, 2007

back from the dead

Hi everyone,

Let me express my profound apologies for being an extremely lazy ass. I haven't been inspired to write anything for weeks. I'm still not, but I thought I would give it a stab. So, today I offered up two rants.

Rant #1 St. Patrick's Day

Okay, I know this isn't really a timely topic anymore, but damnit, I got somthing to say. Jade and I went to the Kansas City Parade, which was lots of fun last time I went. This time....not so much. Apparently in years past there had been a lot of drunkeness (duh) and unfortunately violence. So, this year was basically St. Paddy's on lockdown. For one, you couldn't drink on the street. There was a 250 dollar fine for open containers (jesus!). This wouldn't have been so bad if there were beer tents, but there were none. You could drink in a bar, but not take it outside. Secondly, the parade felt like a police state. There were cops on foot, narc agents, cops on atvs, cops on horseback, cops in cars, and helicopters. I had a flask with me but was to scared to open it because there were 3 cops in view during the whole parade. The narc agents were the worst. They were dressed head to toe in black with jackboots. They looked like some kind of Americanized version of the SS. Most of them looked much to eager to beat the shit out of someone that looked at them funny. So, needless to say it was a bummer. The worst part was that this type of atmosphere really subdued the joy of the parade. There was nobody hooting and hollerin like years past. Everyone stood in their spots solemnly and would occaisionally clap as a float went by. The lack of alchohol took all the passion and spontenaity out of the crowd. I won't be coming back anytime soon.

Rant #2 Tipping

Okay, I'm usually a very generous tipper. I tip 20% standard at restaurants, unless the service is really shitty. Even then I still tip over 10%. When I'm at a bar I usually tip a buck every time I get a drink, more for a good healthy glass of hard liqour. Sometimes it's more than that because bars "convieniently" charge 50 to 75 cents over a dollar on every drink to make you give that extra quarter or so along with your regular tip. Last time I was at a bar I had to wait (at an empty bar mind you) while the bartender had a 5-10 mintue conversation with someone there (I was staring her down the whole time, by the way). The messed up thing is that I still tipped her so she wouldn't think I was an ass. That same night I thought about how many patrons there are per bar, plus how many drinks they may buy on average. Basically, bartenders and waitresses are making money hand over fist. That was disgusting, but what I found out later was much worse. I spoke with my secretary, who used to be a bartender. She says that they made on average 25 bucks or more an hour. She also said that they only have to report tips up to minimum wage. So, not only are they making a shitload of money without an education, they don't even have to pay their fair amount of tax on it unless they choose to (guess how many probably "choose" to report the extra guess is 0%). Also, it's not necessarily even a full time job. So, here I am busting my ass daily to make a living and I'm giving it over readily to someone who really is just popping the top on a beer bottle. On that note, I'm through with being generous. I'll still tip (damn the's expected), but it will be on a significantly smaller scale. What I'd really like to see is for everyone to stop tipping so bars/restaurants will be forced to pay their workers a fair wage rather than stuffing all that money from my 10$ burger and fries or 4 dollar beer into their greedy little pockets.

That is all.

Oh yeah, can somebody tell me how to post a video I found online? It will be the subject of my next post but I don't know how to do it.