The best local bar you'll never see and the best local band you'll never hear

Greetings and Salutations,

I had a pretty good weekend and I wanted to tell you all about something very cool. Friday night we went to the Cherry Street Artisan...it's a coffee house that has live music, food, beer, and of course coffee. It's a very relaxed atmosphere, with people studying, working on computers, and hanging out. The place has lots of oversized leather couches that are perfect for lounging. The best part about it though is the smell.....it smells like really good coffee and cheesecake and cinammon. I could live in a place that smells like that. We saw a folksinger that had some very clever lyrics. Overall, the place is okay. However, the bar we went to Saturday night blows that one out of the water as far as my tastes are concerned. It's called East Side Tavern, and it is the diviest of dives. It's billed as a rock n roll sci-fi bar. On the door they have a painting of Frankenstien and a cardboard cutout of Darth Vader. Inside, it's dark and tiny....with all sorts of horror and sci-fi memorablia. They have a whole shelf with dolls of Ash from Evil Dead, Leatherface, Pinhead, Chucky, the Hulk, the Alien, the Crypt Keeper, etc. Also, they have skeletons and skulls everywhere.....it's like a haunted house in there. There are also posters of cool punk and metal acts and also posters from horror and sci-fi movies. It is now officially my favorite bar in Columbia. It's also such a hole in the wall that I'm sure it is overlooked by a lot of people. Therefore it's the best bar you will probably never see. So, Jade and I go there to see a battle of the bands show. The guy taking cover charges looks exactly like the fat goth guy from Butterfly Effect. We walk in and to the right is a very, very tiny stage which is currently being used by a band that can only be described as Pantera cranked up to 11. I mean this shit is loud, fast, and screaming. On the left is the "ghoul cheerleading squad", basically a bunch of chicks dressed like a cross between the cheerleaders in the video for "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and dead catholic school girls. There are about 5 of them with white face paint, black eyes, and blood smeared all over their bodies. They even had pom-poms. We grab a drink and proceed to watch the band go ballistic. I was sure the lead singer was going to rupture his vocal chords by screaming. During one number there were two singers. One ran out in the crowd, climbed on a chair, and proceeded to take big swigs of water and then spit it straight up in the air. He then proceeded to drench the crowd. When he was out of water, he threw the bottle into the crowd. After that, the other singer comes out slam-dancing his way through the crowd, screaming into the mike the whole time. It was rather intense, but it got me energized. I was glad when they were done though, because my eardrums couldn't take much more punishment. Which brings me to the second band....the best local band you'll probably never hear. They are called Witch's Hat and I've seen them 3 times now. Aaron was with me the first time, at the Blue Note for Badfish. They were the opening act. I then saw them again at the Blue Note for the filming of a documentary about Columbia's music scene. That night there were about 7 bands and there was one metal band called Slugtrail. The bassist turned out to be the bartender at the East Side Tavern. So, that was my first "celebrity" encounter. So, onto Witch's Hat. They are amazing for a local band. It's a four piece ensamble, with the bassist playing bass and keyboards. They are a highly animated band. The lead singer has a good voice. He reminds me of a cross between Jack Black and Ian Anderson in his stage antics. The drummer was wearing a mexican wrestling mask, and then stripped to his underwear. Musically, they are pretty tight. Their sound is kind of poppy and energenic.......with a good dose of Jethro Tull thrown in. It's actually pretty hard for me to categorize because I haven't heard anything quite like it before. I would say it is most reminicent of late 70's Jethro Tull without the flute. Think Songs from the Woods and Crest of a Knave, but with a little heavier beat. Their lyrics and songs were absolutely kick ass and very odd. One is about a knight out to slay a dragon, another is about world war 6....yes 6. Another is about androids. During the android song the singer ends it by singing in binary (literally speaks 10101110011 for about 30 seconds). They also did a country song. The music is interesting as it melds keyboard with rock like an early 80's band. The band has choreographed moves that match the music and the lead singer is just a freak. Like I said...very reminescent of Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull. He flails about during the whole performance. Of all the bands I've seen in Columbia...this is by far the best. Unfortunately, their sound and lyrics aren't really mainstream and I doubt they ever hit it big.....even though they deserve it. I had actually seen the lead singer working his day job. He was sweeping up at closing time at a fruit drink store.....not exactly the glamorous life. Saturday night I introduced myself to him. We talked briefly about music as I had read an article in a local paper about him and he and I have similar tastes. I also asked him when would an album be out. He said it will be on Umbrella records and will be out in the fall. In the meantime, he directed me to their website...witchshat.net. It has a couple of downloadable songs. I highly recommend you check it out, I have a link to it on the blog. It looks like it hasn't been updated in awhile. Also, keep in mind that the songs were recorded shortly after the band formed and are very unpolished. I can tell by their live show that they have improved greatly in vocal and musical ability. I now consider myself a fan and plan to see them as often as possible. Actually, they are playing the East Side Tavern again on Tuesday and I might just go. The next band was pretty good as well. I have seen them twice, but can't remember the name. They dress up in early 80's ties and suits. The lead singer is almost a midget and the bassist is a girl that dressed up in a 80's woman's suit. Their sound is kinda like Weezer. I thought they were pretty good, but no Witch's Hat. We didn't stick around for the last band. Columbia is a great place to hear live music. Most shows are in the 5-10 dollar range and many are free. On another note, Robert Earl Keen is coming to the Blue Note in September, tickets are on sale now......so let me know if ya wanna go. In conclusion, it was a very relaxing weekend. I have a 3 day weekend as I close on the house tomorrow. Today I've been sitting around doing jack squat....and am very happy about that. Hope you all have a good week. Congrats to Aaron and his tennis team. Let me know when the Iowa trip is, maybe I could go.

Enjoying life for a change,
-J