Thursday, September 29, 2005

The Hate is Pure, The Hate is Good

Hi all,

Haven't updated for awhile. Why, you ask? Because I've been in living hell at work for the last 2 weeks. I've been on- call in some form for the last 3 weeks. We've been absolutely swamped the last 2 weeks. I've had to take on shipping, receiving, and ordering on top of an already full schedule. This week has been particularly hellish. On Monday, my coworker she had to go on bed rest for a week due to health problems. Now, I can understand the importance of this....so that's not a big deal. The bitch is I am the only person at work except Tuesday and Thursday and I have to take call all week and Friday and Sunday. I had to work until 8 Monday and Tuesday, and last night I worked till 9:30. This is on salary, mind you. So, I didn't make a friggin extra dime. I've come to absolutely hate my job. It has changed my very personality...and I don't like that. I've been fluctuating between the brink of violent explosion and severe depression almost daily. I've taken to repeating the mantra "I hate my job, I hate my job, I hate my job" several times a day. Also, anytime I walk past a glass cabinet I have an overwhelming desire to put my fist right through it. I'm starting to contemplate furniture in it's air-borne state. I start thinking "If this hospital wasn't so much damn concrete I would burn it to the ground.......not good. I never used to be like this. In a little over a year I went from mild-mannered civilian to crazed lunatic. I think it culminated yesterday. I was inundated with walk in patients and hospital calls all day. The icing on the cake was when I spent an hour fitting a Down Syndrome patient with a hip brace one day post prosthetic hip revision. She started crying before I even touched her and proceeded to scream rythmically for the entire hour....even when I hadn't even done anything painful. I wasn't mad at her, but that screaming was very stressful. Especially for a straight hour. So, that started my day at 9am. Shit proceeded to hit the fan for the rest of the day. I later was chastized by the chief of surgery for trauma for something stupid my boss did the day before. After the bum rush, when I was finally able to see in-patients at 4 or so, things proceeded on their current path. Every time I went to see a patient, a nurse would grab me and tell me about someone else I needed to see. I ended up seeing patients till 8pm. After that, I still had all my notes to chart. And, to top it off, I had to make a presentation for a group of physicians for the next morning. I was thrust into giving the presentation when my coworker was sick all week and I didn't have any information about what I needed to cover. I didn't even know that much about the subject: Rheumatology. So, I frantically put together a rather generic and haphazard presentation...which I delivered today. I didn't even rehearse it. I looked it over once and said, "Oh well, guess I'll just wing it.".
The presentation evidently went over well. I about shit myself when there wasn't a usb cable provided to link my laptop to the computer attached to the projector. Luckily, someone had a memory stick. I was pretty nervous, but came across okay. I glossed over a good bit of information, but thank god the physicians asked a lot of questions. Unfortunately, I didn't include any information about upper extremity since I didn't know that was what they were looking for. So, I ended up looking like an ass there. At the end it though many people expressed their interest in sending their business our way. They may even want us to have a clinic at their offices. Overall, I think it went well. So, today was a little more low key and I was able to get a lot of work done. The only thing that's keeping me going at this point is that we are hiring a new person that starts in mid October. Hopefully after that I will be able to decompress. Also, I'm taking a week vacation the last week of October. It's the first real vacation I've taken in a year more than a day or two off here and there. The only thing else that's been going on is that I saw Wilco at a street festival last week. It was a pretty cool show. Also, I was shown a bar in town that has shuffleboard. It's a dive, but I like the jukebox. We went there with Stacey, Erin, and Dave last weekend. We played shuffleboard and darts until the college kids started coming in around 11. Anyway...enough rambling. One question though. We've heard about the worst actors and actresses, but what about the best? That is a much harder question. At least, I found it to be that. After thinking long and hard about it I keep coming back to the same name for best actor over and over.....Johnny Depp. He is the only person that I can think of that gets so absorbed in a part he's playing. Everything I've seen him in has been top notch quality except Secret Window...nothing could save that movie....not even John Tuturro (sp?) Who is another one of my favorites. Johny Depp makes you believe in the character...even if it's pure fantasy such as Edward Scissorhands. As for best actress, my vote goes to Parker Posey. I liked her in all the Chris Guest movies. In fact, several of those actors could apply to my pick for best actor ever. Anyway, let's hear the results.

24 Comments:

At September 30, 2005 6:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jason, I'm surprised you didn't say Bill Murray. His roles and his acting have become much more mature. I have always liked Bill Macy, even though he tends to be typecast. 'Nother favorite of mine is Phillip Seymore Hoffman, who I'm looking forward to seeing in the upcoming film about writer Truman Capote. He is brilliant.

~Jade

 
At September 30, 2005 8:17 AM, Blogger Blackpetunia said...

I agree, totally about Johnny Depp, he's the best, hands down.
For female, I think that Cate Blanchett is a really good actress. I don't know if I can think of her as the best, or any single modern actress as the best. I think that Lauren Bacall was really good, and Ava Gardner. Isabell Adjani is another one-she's the actress in Queen Margot, Camille Claudet and Hugo. mmm, and Juliette Binoche and Helena Bonham-Carter.
For actors I also think that Liam Neeson and Gary Oldman are great.
Oh yeah, Jodie Foster used to be good, but then I saw that Panic Room movie and that sucked ass, kinda like Secret Window did for Johnny Depp.

 
At September 30, 2005 1:41 PM, Blogger Blackpetunia said...

A few others I thought of
Female: Miranda Richardson and Emma Thompson
Male: Daniel Day-Lewis

 
At September 30, 2005 2:01 PM, Blogger locomocos said...

thank you for speaking so highly of my boyfriend, Johnny. i'll let him know you all think of him so fondly.

there are so many people i like:
Bill Murray - definitley
Daniel Day Lewis - of course
Cate Blanchett - yes, helena and emma - for sure.

I've really enjoyed Ewan McGregor lately. he can play and asshole, a mentor, and a punk kid.
As far as staying in the more recent realm i must say i also really like Julienne Moore. She completely rawks me - except for that Forgotten movie. That was the worst movie of 2005 - TRUST ME ON THIS ONE.

hhmmm....Colin Firth, Chris Cooper, and Alan Rickman.
As for ladies - Kate Winslet is one of my all time favorites and Scarlett Johannsen

 
At September 30, 2005 2:07 PM, Blogger Blackpetunia said...

I thought of another
Gabriel Byrne.
Cas,
You're marrying Jack Black, JD, as he likes me to call him, just couldn't get over this and is now mine.

 
At September 30, 2005 4:34 PM, Blogger jason said...

Yeah, I would have to put Bill Murray way up there, Philip Seymour Hoffman too. Liam Neeson is awesome. I loved Kinsey. As for women. Yeah, I like Kate Winslet tons. I just keep remembering how intense Parker Posey was in Best in Show. That's why I picked her.

 
At October 03, 2005 6:49 AM, Blogger Aaron said...

I like Tom Cruise. I don't care what you guys say.

I also like Jodie Foster. I think she's the best actress of all time, hands down.

I also like Leo DiCaprio.

 
At October 03, 2005 7:01 AM, Blogger Blackpetunia said...

Wow A-ron, with the exclusion of Jodi, I think you and I totally disagree on what talent looks like.
I bet we'd have a hard time watching movies together. Those two guys would go on my worst list, actually Tom Cruise transcends my worst actor list. He has pressed me to create a new list:
"Insane, sucky and ugly worst actors who think they're hot"
Although, Leo D. was great as a retard in Gilbert Grape, and as the reclusive and OCD inflicted Howard Hughes.

 
At October 03, 2005 8:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I forgot to add my worst list:

Tom Cruise
Sandra Bullock

~Jade

 
At October 03, 2005 8:49 AM, Blogger Blackpetunia said...

yeah, Sandra "the bulge" Bullock has a bigger adam's apple than Cruise...

 
At October 03, 2005 2:10 PM, Blogger Aaron said...

Amber, I implore you to watch Magnolia, Vanilla Sky, Born on the Fourth of July, and Collateral before you dismiss Tom Cruise. I have also heard that The Last Samurai is good as well.

As far as DiCaprio goes, I would point to Gilbert Grape, This Boys Life, and Basketball Diaries.

 
At October 03, 2005 2:14 PM, Blogger Blackpetunia said...

You're right, Basketball Diaries was very good.
so you have
1. retard
2. drug addict
3. reclusive, OCD millionaire freak

Whereas
Mr. Crazy-I'm-jumping-on-Oprah's-couch-for-no-reason Cruise
I have heard Magnolia is good, but not because of him. The previews I saw for Vanilla Sky and Last Samurai looked about appealing as watching Nicolas Cage stumble through trying to sound Italian and playing a Mandolin...bleh
I did like Minority Report, he didn't even ruin that one!

 
At October 03, 2005 3:19 PM, Blogger Aaron said...

Jim Caveezil is good - see The Thin Red Line, and Passion of the Christ.

Robert Duvall is a high quality actor - see The Apostle, and Secondhand Lions.

Jack Nicholson - see As Good as it Gets, and Easy Rider.

I'm also a fan of Mark Whalberg, George Clooney, Sidney Poitier, Bill Murray, Harrison Ford, Kate Winslet, Meg Ryan, and Caroline Kava.

 
At October 03, 2005 3:21 PM, Blogger Aaron said...

Amber, you have to see Magnolia and Vanilla Sky. Those are two of my favorite movies of all time. Cruise plays well in Magnolia, but so does Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and Julianne Moore. Cruise does in fact steal the show in Vanilla Sky.

 
At October 03, 2005 6:14 PM, Blogger jason said...

ohhh.....a facial prosthetic, that's good...because for a second there...I thought you were TALKING ABOUT A FUCKING MASK!!!! Yeah, Tom Cruise is way up on the list for me as well. Magnolia and Vanilla Sky were fantastic. Tom Cruise was great in Magnolia, but I think the guy who played the cop was the best in that movie. He was in Boogie Nights. You will be hard pressed to find better acting than Tom Cruise in Born on the Fourth of July. The Last Samuri was okay, but not spectacular. I also thought Tom Cruise was great in Eyes Wide Shut. That was a great movie about the concept of infedelity, minus the whole masked orgy nonsense. Leo is good, but I just can't stand him in Titanic. I forgot about Jack Nicholson. I like him alot, but it's hard to buy into his characters. Every movie I see with him I just see a characture sp? of every role he's played. His very early work is spectacular, but after that he just phones it in.

 
At October 04, 2005 4:31 PM, Blogger Aaron said...

Tom Hanks - see Forrest Gump.

 
At October 06, 2005 12:41 PM, Blogger Spoony Quine said...

` Me likee Johnny Depp. Me not *marry* Johnny Depp. Me not know what Johnny Depp be like. He seem interesting, though.
` Mr. Scissorhands was a strange character. I thought he did very well. He made Scissorhands a good little surreal boy.
` Full of scissory goodness.

` BTW, I HATE HOSPITALS, TOO. They don't sound fun to work in. No wonder so many people who work there don't care about your level of pain or stress AT ALL!!
` It's hard enough just coping with the stress of being AROUND patients and the OTHER people who work there!
` I came into the ER one day after being tortured with drugs and a bone saw (grizly details left out) and they didn't even DO anything but send me to a critical ward... In a mental institution!!! = I didn't get any medical treatment.
` Apparently, there was some kind of misinformation about my mental health, which I didn't even learn about until 1 1/2 years later (long story) and they assumed I had schizophrenia or some other disorder like that, so they apparently thought that I gouged myself up - they didn't even make sure I stopped bleeding! They didn't want to hear what I had to say!
` They just sent me to a mental hospital where I was sedated continuously, JUST for begging them, then crying for, and then trying to bribe them for morphine, over and over! They didn't care how much it hurt ME! Didn't hurt THEM. I was just 'CRAZY'. I must not really be SUFFERING.
` Unable to walk, and completely neglected by the staff, I bled for about a week THROUGH the stitches, and I was forced to pee on myself until I became very dehydrated. I also got very ill and thought I was going to die. Also, the sedatives caused me to sleep a lot and have nightmares and night terrors ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT.
` Not to mention, my roommate kept panicking, saying we were all going to be killed. Etc. etc. etc. Really, she wasn't so far off.
` Luckily, when the doctor supposedly in charge of me talked to my mom - not ME!! - she realized I was telling the truth and let me go. Of course, I OR my mom didn't learn that I was supposed to be gone until 8 hours after I was scheduled to be discharged.
` But by then, after all this not-getting-a-therapist and brainwashing-by-osmosis, I didn't care.
` I thought I was schizophrenic, and spent the next six months appalled by my new behavior from the medication they'd given me.
` Since I didn't need it, my doctors later said, this aripiprazole had unbalanced me instead of balanced me. I stopped taking it and began to remember what life had been like before, and that, 'oh... my mom and my friends are right. That medication was making me act like a crazy person.'
` Though I've finally gotten my life back on track, I still have nightmares about the whole experience, I have to attent PTSD classes, and am still unable to get a job!
` So remember, no matter how bad it is for you, there's always patients here and there who have had their lives screwed up so much worse from the medical system not working well.
` And yes, this whole incident was STARTED by a few wackmobile-jerk medical professionals, so it wasn't even just how my problem was DEALT with!

` Thought that piece of horrifying news might make you feel better. :D

 
At October 06, 2005 1:13 PM, Blogger Spoony Quine said...

` I'm also in rant-mode today, so...

` BTBTW, on a more amusing (but equally disturbing) note, Tom Cruise... I don't think he's a good actor, and I'm also frightened of him as an influence on people.

` After all, he's funding the biggest, money-grubbing cult in the world - it robs people blind while at the same time making them dependent on thier pseudo-self-help from aliens from outer space-madness.
` I am not kidding... working there (at the SEA ORG) is basically working in a militant, totalitarian organization - you get in such trouble if you want to leave, they won't let you see anyone else who works there (even if they're family!), will tell them horrible lies about you, and will even try to catch you, drug you and 'let you die' of starvation if you refuse to re-join them!
` Also, women who work at the SEA ORG cannot have babies - pregnant women are encouraged to have an abortion, because otherwise they will have to struggle to leave and possibly die or be sent to a concentration-camp thing.
` Katie Holmes is now pregnant (Cruise evidently decided against celibacy), also, but since she doesn't WORK for them, she's encouraged not to traumatize the baby by being very quiet while giving birth, because of the aliens that live in everybody (though she probably doesn't know about that part yet - they're encouraged not to tell each other about what they've learned in 'class').
` Tom Cruise knows nothing about how the 'Church' of Scientology is run, nor does he know how it REALLY got its 'tax exempt' status. They make extra-careful sure he doesn't find out 'cuz he has money and their 'congregation' is shrinking.

` Why... am I writing this here? Eh, I feel like ranting, and I was going to write all about it on my blog a long time ago. Then I figured 'nobody wants to hear that'.
` And if a SEA ORG person sees it, they'll try to force me to take it down. (They're pretty vicious.)
` Which are stupid reasons not to put it up there, I know...

` Of course, the internet is revolutionizing the accessability of Scientology (and other cult) information - otherwise, they're great at secrecy. They and their blackmail and their lawsuits...

` This website might be amusing to any of you... but be warned, this is SCARY, INCREDIBLE STUFF!
http://www.tomcruiseisnuts.com/

` And this website is full of painstakingly accurate information - I think Scientology Illustrated is a hilarious little 'slideshow'...
http://www.xenu.net/
` It is so revealing that it has to be done from ANOTHER COUNTRY so the Scientology organization's goons can't get at the guy who's put it up!

` This website is full of disturbing video interviews of Scientology survivors, and other 'black PR' as Scientologists call it,
http://www.xenutv.com/

` And this website is about one woman's ongoing struggle with Scientology after being in it for 30 years;
http://www.torymagoo.org/
` It's called Tory / Magoo, 'thirty years before I woke up'. Yes, she trusted people who told her she didn't need epilepsy medication for THAT LONG.
` The guy who put together xenu.net was actually the one who made her realize; "If your friends and husband turn you away for trying to leave, what kind of friends are they?"

` SO BE GLAD YOU DON"T WORK THERE, EITHER!!!
` Nevertheless, switching jobs would not be a bad idea...

` I think I'll still write about it, though. HEEHEEHEEEE! Sounds like fun, right? It's so classically skeptic of me.

` Thankfully, my 'chemical imbalances' (for which Cruise doesn't believe exist) are shifting again, so I'll stop now ;)

 
At October 06, 2005 4:36 PM, Blogger jason said...

Wow....okay, I feel a little bit better about my job. That sounds like a horrible situation. I couldn't even begin to imagine what that would be like. I also saw something yesterday to change my perspective. I had a patient that has a genetic disorder where his bones didn't form correctly. He only has arms to his elbows, and has the tip of one finger protruding from a lump of flesh. The other hand had one complete finger and a vestigial 5th finger. He was morbidly obese and also had mal-aligned legs. They were whole though, but a bit short on the proportional side. This guy was completely friendly and talkitive. Somehow, he fixes up derby cars and races them in the crash up derby. He also somehow rides four wheelers, hunts, and fishes. That's pretty incredible for someone in that bad of shape. I was driving home at the end of the day and was thinking about him. The thought popped in my head "How does he masturbate?" Sick, I know, but a valid point. He was about 21 years old and in his prime. I don't know if he's ever gotten laid or not. That seems like it would be extremely frustrating. So, my life's not so bad afterall. There are worse alternatives.

 
At October 06, 2005 7:37 PM, Blogger Blackpetunia said...

Jason-
that's not an alternative, it's an affliction. He probably doesn't masturbate though. perhaps his medicaire pays for a nurse to jerk him off though. I know some parapolegic guy in Germany was trying to get the government to pay for the prostitutes to come to his house because he didn't have enough money to go to them. That would make me feel good when I'm paying 60percent of my income in taxes, wouldn't it you? To know that cripples can get a good suck on my money. bah

 
At October 07, 2005 2:00 AM, Blogger Spoony Quine said...

` ^^ squinty!
` Glad I could say something depressing that would make you feel better! In addition, now I feel less deformed!
` Also, I'd guess that guy probably humps his couch.

 
At October 07, 2005 6:10 AM, Blogger Blackpetunia said...

well, I'm not sure if that's really an option when you're paraplegic, I tend to doubt it though. Maybe if you're Tom Cruise you could though.

 
At October 07, 2005 2:25 PM, Blogger locomocos said...

Tom Cruise is a weirdo and i'm going to check out those scientology sites this weekend. Crazy Crazy stuff.

And Jason - WTF with the masturbating? Didn't you say he had t-rex arms?
is he flexible?

yikes!!!
i also think Eric Roberts is one of the worst actors in existence.
i want to second that with Milla Jovovich. She has NO talent, and if you notice, most of 'her' movies involve little to NO lines in the entire thing!!!

 
At October 07, 2005 4:15 PM, Blogger jason said...

I figure he probably humps a pillow or something. I'll have to check out the scientology sites as well.

 

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