Instructions.....just in case
If this true, it's gotta be one of the craziest things I've ever heard. Especially the part about "not panicking".
This is true !! It details what to do if an anaconda attacks you.
Excerpt is from the US Government Peace Corps Manual for
volunteers working in the Amazon Jungle.
Related to the boa constrictor, the anaconda is the largest
snake species in the world. It grows to thirty-five feet in
length and weighs 300 to 400 pounds.
1. If you are attacked by an anaconda, do not run. The
snake is faster than you are.
2. Lie flat on the ground. Put your arms tight against your
sides, your legs tight against one another.
3. Tuck your chin in.
4. The snake will begin to nudge and climb over your body.
5. Do not panic.
6. After the snake has examined you, it will begin to
swallow you from the feet end - always from the feet end. Permit
the snake to swallow your feet and ankles. Do not panic!
7. The snake will now begin to suck your legs into its
body. You must lie perfectly still. This will take a long time.
8. When the snake has reached your knees, slowly and with
as little movement as possible, reach down, take your knife
and very gently slide it into the side of the snake's mouth
between the edge of its mouth and your leg, then suddenly
rip upwards, severing the snake's head.
9. Be sure you have your knife.
10. Be sure your knife is sharp.
Excerpt is from the US Government Peace Corps Manual for
volunteers working in the Amazon Jungle.
Related to the boa constrictor, the anaconda is the largest
snake species in the world. It grows to thirty-five feet in
length and weighs 300 to 400 pounds.
1. If you are attacked by an anaconda, do not run. The
snake is faster than you are.
2. Lie flat on the ground. Put your arms tight against your
sides, your legs tight against one another.
3. Tuck your chin in.
4. The snake will begin to nudge and climb over your body.
5. Do not panic.
6. After the snake has examined you, it will begin to
swallow you from the feet end - always from the feet end. Permit
the snake to swallow your feet and ankles. Do not panic!
7. The snake will now begin to suck your legs into its
body. You must lie perfectly still. This will take a long time.
8. When the snake has reached your knees, slowly and with
as little movement as possible, reach down, take your knife
and very gently slide it into the side of the snake's mouth
between the edge of its mouth and your leg, then suddenly
rip upwards, severing the snake's head.
9. Be sure you have your knife.
10. Be sure your knife is sharp.
posted by jason @ 4:46 PM
13 comments
13 Comments:
I like how they tell you to have a knife, and to make sure the knife is sharp After they tell you to cut the snakes head. What if you only read instructions 1-8? You wouldn't even have a knife!
And why not a gun?
Attacked by an anaconda? I'm not sure I'd ever be trip-tromping through the amazonian rainforest NOT armed to the TEETH.
` Yyyyeah. That's pretty useless information. I'm sorry, but with my scant knowledge of snakes, I can't possibly believe that would ever work.
` What if the anaconda - it's no Burmese python! - has wrapped its body around you? You couldn't get to your knife! What if it starts eating your head first? (They do normally eat prey head-first. I don't know why it would change behavior and eat anyone feet-first!)
` I'm also not sure that such snakes will bother to eat something they think may be already dead, because if something starts rotting in their guts, they have to regurgitate it before they die of toxic buildup.
` I'd guess that if a real anaconda saw you moving at all, it would either not do anything aside from making sure it was hidden, or if it was really hungry, crush you to death until your heart stops beating, at which point you would not be able to do anything.
` Also, I think they're most likely to attack you while you're in the water (where they live), anyway, where you'd be totally screwed.
` How screwed? I was watching this show where this Brazillian tribe went into a river to bathe, and then they started wondering what happened to little Johnny? (Okay, his name obviously wasn't Johnny.) His mother was hysterical, wailing about an anaconda eating him. The funny thing is, nobody knew he was gone until after the fact!
` Then again, I might expect that from a snake that can basically tie you up and drown you in about two seconds.
` True, nobody saw an anaconda, although the boy suddenly was gone, and Brazillian rivers are full of reptiles that can eat you, so it was probably a scaly, ectothermic predator of some kind.
I saw Aaron's snake eat a live mouse once....it was brutal and serene at the same time. Just squeezed the life right out of it. I think that would be a pretty shitty way to go. That, and quicksand. Good things I've been practicing my amazon skills by playing "Pitfall". I'm getting very good at jumping on alligator's heads.
` Watch out for those pools of water that suddenly change sizes for no apparent reason!
Jade! You need to make a blog!
Party at Rodriguez' house Saturday the 29th! Wear a costume! If you don't wear a costume, penalty costumes will be imposed!
You're right Quine, anacondas are not like those war-mongering Burmese pythons.
Elwess! I'm impressed! You block-quoted the excerped piece! Nicely done!
Sage advice. I guess no one told Ice Cube about it in that horrid movie, "Anaconda."
Aaron, I prefer to be behind the times, so there is no pressure to keep up with all this silly new technology. Ergo, I still possess a camera with this "film" substance. I will bring it to Halloween festivities. I'm really having a hard time this year with costume ideas. Maybe I'll raid my parents' closets when I go home this weekend.
~Jade
i too am having problems figuring out my costume this year. i just have no idea.....
and wow. i had no idea you guys knew so much about snakes.
gross.
A-ron - i didn't know you had a pet snakey! no wonder no women like to stay over at your house!
I'm having a hard time coming up with costumes as well. I don't want to spend too much money this year. I thought about wearing a sheet with brown stink lines on it and bring a whoopee cushion. I would use the whoopee cushion and then flap around. I'd be a fart. Then I realized that was really lame. I'm thinking maybe "the continental"....Christopher Walken on SNL.
Cas...you were over here before when I had it. I was snake-sitting for my older sister. I'm pretty sure I still had it, but maybe not. I'm also sure I told you about it, crackhead.
` My brother dressed up as a Q-tip once.
` Hey, if my stupid blog ever loads up, I dare ya to guess what that picture on it is... It's saying 'loading!' then it stops, then goes again... urgh... doesn't seem to be going all the way through. It's been doing that over and over for several minutes...
` Maybe the picture just freaks it out.
i like the continental idea. but you have to have some ladies gloved hand with some rings on it reaching for stuff - you know - like on a stick. like the camera guy in the skit (at least i think it's the camera guy - maybe camera gal - i'm not trying to be sexist). that would be awesome!!! you'd have to wear an ascot!
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