Sunday, April 24, 2005

the bomb vs. biocrap

Late Entry

Those of us well versed in the console market have our particular favorites. I'm taking this opportunity to alert all potential console players to a wad of shit. The wad of shit of mention......jade empire, one of the supposed "best" games on xbox. This is from the creator of Knights of the Old Republic. Well, guess what? This game is as potentially great and as shitty as "The Sith Lords" I guess the pubisher took their name "Bioware" to equate with "buggyware". The Sith Lords was buggy as granted...I burned this game to disc. It was plagued with freeze up...where you have to restart at your last save, slowdown of motion even in non-combat scenarious, and the dialoge/music either or both just randomly cutting out....causing one to have to reboot the game to get sound again. Great absolute curse to play. So, I started playing the latest and greatest Bioware game that was just released....Jade Empire. I played it from an original copy....because it was too big to burn to a disc. So, with a "rental" copy in the drive...I expected longer load times....but a bug free game experience. Oh my brothers....not so. This game was even more buggy than Sith Lords. Granted, great graphics, but slowdown at every turn. Wonky camera control. Piss poor fighting engine. Unexpected slowdown and speed up. And, get this, the music randomly stops as does the vocals.....often. The only way to get it back is to turn off the power and reload you last save....and then it does it again in 5 minutes or so. I reset 3-4 times in the course of an hour of gameplay due to this. The plot looked to be pretty cool.....but the bullshit involved was too much. It does't help that their last game had the same problems. This game had it even worse, and this is off an original disc. I pity the fool that paid 50 bucks for this load of crap. All the reviewers gave it like 9.5 out of 10....with no mention of the bugs involved. So, maybe I just have a crap xbox...but I don't think so. The same company has caused the same problems...where other games work just fine. I am instituting a ban on all things bioware....this is not an acceptable product for purchase. Which brings me to the point of "the bomb". I rented Time Splitters "Future Perfect" at the same time. This game is great popcorn goodness. Granted, the plot is as shallow as a puddle after a rainstorm, but there are many great aspects. The graphics aren't anything to write home about, but the animation is top notch. The controls are definetly top notch....I can't wait to play death match with my friends. The best thing about this game though is the ability to suck a person in. There are very creative situations that stray outside of the normal first person shooter. Also, it runs at a silky smooth 60 fps. It's a cross between the quintessential Goldeneye and Halo....yes, there are vehicles involved...with great physics I may add. Do check it out. As for Jade Empire.....don't believe the hype.
Forever protecting the gaming world from useless trash

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

love songs

I'm a cheeseball sucker for a good love, I'm not talking about your run of the mill shitty love song like "When a man loves a woman". No, I'm talking about obscure love songs. One of my favorites is by Tool and is called "pushit"....truly disturbing and dark....just the way I like it. However, there are some lighter love songs I enjoy. The following is one of my favorite love songs.

Wondering Aloud

Wondering Aloud
How we feel today
Last night slipped the sunset
My hands in her hair
We are our own saviours
As we start, both our hearts, beating life
Into each other

Wondering Aloud
Will the years treat us well
As she floats in the kitchen
I'm tasting the smell
Of toast as the butter runs
Then she comes, spilling crumbs on the bed
And I shake my head

And it's only the giving that makes you
What you are

Beautiful song, short and sweet (1.5 minutes long)...gets me every time

Monday, April 18, 2005

One of my guiding principles Posted by Hello

This is a painting I did recently. Partly it details the anguish and downtrodeness of the brave illegal immigrant worker population in America...but mostly it's a moo cow. :) Posted by Hello

Saturday, April 16, 2005

and this is the man who wants to make a constitiutional ban on gay marriage? Me thinks he doth protest too much. Posted by Hello

Monday, April 11, 2005

late entry....what is good?

What is good? And how is it obtainable? What began as an ideal has been lost to the reality of profit, politics, and spools of red tape. I got into my current career for two reasons.....first and absolutely foremost, to do good and have a chance to impact people's lives in a positive and helpful manner by supplementing what was lost or never had. Secondly, to make a living of course. The second is of small consequence. I don't have aspirations of great wealth; just enough to live the life I choose and have enough left over for savings just in case shit happens (as it's prone to do), as well as hopefully provide for a family someday. Classic American dream....with one problem. While the second aspect is being realized to some degree...the first is not. My good friend Sean once said "twixt the cup and the lip, there's many a slip". Very true. He also was the first to introduce me to this phrase: wish in one hand and shit in the other....see which gets filled first. Oftentimes my naievity has gotten the better of me, even when I thought I had experience with the subject. In this case, it was my career. I've worked in the orthotics and prosthetics field for approximately 4 years, but I still am just coming to terms with what the job really entails. As my experience grows, so does my loathing of what I have to do. Which brings me to my first point, profit. As with all companies, we have to remain profitable. This is okay, this is the nature of business. Nobody is in business to lose money. However, the way the money is made is what bothers me. In my short time in Columbia I've seen things that I morally and ethically cannot accept. A few that come to mind are providing more expensive/intrusive orthotics than a person physically needs, providing orthotics that won't make much of a difference in the patient's lives/rehabiliation, providing unnecessary services, and providing expensive orthotics that anybody can find for dirt cheap at most pharmacies. The one that weighs most heavily on my head at this hour is providing unnecessary services. There can be no better example than the services I provide to inpatients at the hospital...mostly patient's in the icu. Over the last weekend and today, I provided cervical collars to at least 5 patients that probably didn't need them. The reason is this....some of these people are unconscious/intubated/drugged and the doctors can't completely clear their cerivcal spines of injury since the patient's can't tell them whether or not they feel pain there. The fucked up thing is that these patients have x-rays/cat scans that show that they have no fractures. But, just to be safe, the doctors put them in cervical collars regardless. Here's where the real fucked up part comes into play. Some of these patients are admitted to the hospital concious and aware. They tell the doctors that they don't feel pain in the neck, and x-rays/cat scans confirm no injury. But, for one reason or another, these patients have to be intubate or drugged. After that, overly stringent guidelines come into play and they have to have a cervical collar placed because they can no longer say they have no pain.....even if that fact has already been recorded. So, basically I'm putting an expensive brace on the patient that doesn't even need it. Some of them have it removed in as little as 24 hours. Last week, one patient only had the brace on for 20 minutes. Yet, I still have to do my job because I'm like a pharmacist. If it is has to be dispensed. This not only cost the patient/insurance costs me valueable time. This covers the red tape section as well, as these are documented hospital policies. This bothers me, but not near as much as the politics. Often I feel as if I'm only there to suck the doctor's dicks. Our business hinges on referral sources. So, a main part of our job is to be at the doctor's need. It doesn't sound so bad, until you realize that it basically makes us slaves to doctors. When they call us, they want us right then and there...regardless of what we may already may be involved in. Most of the time it isn't anything major, and the doctors could send the patient to our office with a prescription instead of us having to drop everything and go see them. It's a major disservice to the patients that have a valid appointment. I honestly think it's just another way for doctors to assert control and feel more important that they actually are. There's a huge difference between an emergency surgeon and a doctor that see's people for foot pain or a sprained knee. More importantly, since the doctors are our livelihood, what they say goes..even if they are wrong. Most doctors have only limited training in orthotics and I often see prescriptions for patients that are overprescribing, underprescribing, or just plain contrainicated. Yet we are expected to fill that prescription and not ask questions....just in the rare event that we may offend the doctor and lose them as a referral source. IT IS FUCKING SICK. Of course, not all doctors are complete assholes....some will listen to other ideas, especially residents. However, there are some doctors that are so adamant that they are right that they won't listen to reason. It truly is digusting. Imagine making a phone call to doctor to debate a prescription, knowing that what they are asking for is completly unecessary or even wrong, just to have them completely ignore rationality and open discourse. This has happened to me on more than one occaision. So, what do you do? You fill the prescription like a fucking monkey knowing that it is wrong just so you won't piss off the doctor. And, wouldn't you know, the patient comes back to you having more pain than they did at the onset. I have had some vindication by trying my idea after a doctor's prescription failed, and lo and idea was succesfull. It's this concept of bowing to the politics of a doctor that truly makes my job frustrating and disheartening. I feel helpless to do what is right...which is why I got into this business in the first place. So, this brings us full circle to the topic of what is good. Is following orders good? Is doing something you know isn't the best course of action good? It's good for the company....they profit. Is providing a service that isn't needed in the name of safety and red tape good? It does cover people's asses. Is good following your education and experience to do what you believe is appropriate. Not if you want to remain in good standing. It doesn't take crayons and a big chief tablet to show you the dichotomy that I face in my career. So why do I do it? I do it for the rare instances when a doctor is either generic in their prescriptions or genuinely open to suggestion so that I can do what's right. I do it for when I see a child that could honestly benefit from my help......not just to appease a parent's skewed point of view of what their child can accomplish. I do it for adults that have limitations on how they want to live their life, but can't due to pain or injury or disease. I do it to prevent further injury in ingnorant patients that have been mislead by inexperienced profiteers. I do it because sometimes I am the last option besides permanent surgery for people who don't want that. I do it for people that can't afford my services but need it anyway. So, is that what is good? I would like to think so. Hopefully with experience, knowledge, and growing trust from the doctor's that run my life I can make a difference in people's lives eventually. But, for now, I'm in living odds with what is right and what I have to do to survive.

Fear and loathing in Columbia,

Sunday, April 10, 2005


other good emails......stupid stuff, different town, the bet

Funny stuff

If you are reading this you must click on the link to This is one of the craziest websites I've ever's funny as hell. In the top right corner it will say Strongbad's that for the most recent email, which is quite funny. There is also a section of previous emails that is quite extensive. You can also write Strongbad and maybe get a bit based off of your questions. If anyone has a good idea of what to write him, let me know.....I want to see if a question will get answered.
p.s. Some of the best old emails are (dragon, guitar, children's book, stunt double, vampires, science project, paper writing?, caffeine, and smart homestar)

Friday, April 08, 2005

tasty morsels of ear candy

I wanted to post the lyrics to this song because I feel it is one of the best songs ever written. Many will disagree with that statement, but I find that the lyrics ring true. It causes me to reflect upon the nature of thought, mood, action, and our place in the universe. Enjoy......or don't, relativism at it's finest.


Black then white are all I see, in my infancy
Red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me
Let's me see.

As below, so above and beyond, I imagine
Drawn beyond the lines of reason
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines.

Black then white are all I see in my infancy
Red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me
Lets me see.
There is so much more
That beckons me to look through to these infinite possiblities.

As below, so above and beyond, I imagine.
Drawn ouside the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Over thinking, over analyizing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, leaving all these opportunities behind.

Feed my will to feel this moment urging me to cross the line.
Reaching out to embrace the random.
Reaching out to embrace whatever may come.

I embrace my desire to
Feel the rhyhm, to feel connected
Enough to step aside and weep like a widow
To feel inspired, to fathom the power,
To witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain,
To swing on the spiral
To swing on the spiral
To swing on the spiral of our divinity and, still be a human.

With my feet upon the ground I lose myself
Between the sounds and open wide to suck it in.
I feel it move across my skin.
I'm reaching up and reaching out.
I'm reaching for the random or whatever will bewilder me.
Whatever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind, we may just go where no one's been.
We'll ride the spiral to the end, and may just go where no one's been

Spiral out, keep going
Spiral out, keep going
Spiral out, keep going


Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Limits of blogging

Well, I made my profile. I'm pissed that it limits me to only 600 characters because I had a ton more movies and music to add to my favorites list. The really crappy thing is.....even though I narrowed it down to under 600 characters, it only displays about half of each list. If anyone can help me remedy this problem, I'm all ears.

first post

Hi all,

Thought I'd sign up and start a blog as well. Not that much of anything of interest usually happens, but I can use this forum to tell you all about the stinky feet I see at work. I'll jump right in with some cutting edge poetry...

Here I sit,
Broken hearted.
Came to shit,
and only farted.
Off my caboose,
I did a dance.
The turd came loose,
I shit my pants.