Reap what you sow, bastards

To any and all scum that thought that a national disaster such as the hurricane in Louisianna was a good time to go steal shit, a curse on you motherfuckers. I hope you fucking drown, gagging on raw sewage and debris as you hold on to that tv or stereo or neighbor's possesions that you somehow felt entitled to. Fuck you for taking advantage of people in a bad situation. Rot in hell.
-J

Dirty thirty

Sean turns the big 3-0 today. If you're reading this, welcome to the club old man. Look forward to increased growth of hair where you don't want it, and maybe even a gray one or two. Alas, I have found a couple. I'm in denial, I just call them the racist ones. Hopefully I'll see you this weekend when I come home. I'll have your birthday present with me. Cheers.
-J

Feel good movie of the year

I am a movie whore. It's the plain and simple truth. We recently added several channels to our cable. We also get movies on demand. I have been chain smoking movies almost every night. I finish with one and immediately watch another. I'm averaging 2 movies a night plus sometimes an HBO special as well. The other night I watched a series on HBO where they performed a fresh autopsy. I had never seen anything quite like that. I had human anatomy with dissection, but it's nothing like seeing a fresh body. That show was freakin' gross. They showed the removal of all the organs, including the brain. The brain was the worst part. They cut the scalp at the back of this guy's head and peeled it up and over his face, so all you saw was the inside of his scalp covering his face down to the chin. Then they broke out the saw......the sound of skull bone being pried back is something not easily forgotten, no matter how hard you try. I'm surprised I didn't have nightmares that night. Which brings me to the feel good movie of the year...1994. Leaving Las Vegas. I watched that again for the first time in years. Man, I forgot how completely depressing that movie is! Talk about your downward spiral. Elizabeth Shue's character is also quite pathetic. She falls in love with this guy who is such a mess you wonder how she loves him. It's almost like she thrives on his self annihilation. If you haven't seen it before, I recommend watching it. Nick Cage gives a fantastic performance (and I don't even like him in most movies except Adaptation).

Mars spectacular

This weekend was pretty relaxing. I wasn't on call for Friday into Saturday, so Jade and I went out to dinner, shot some pool, and went to a show at the Blue Note. Copious amounts of different kinds of beer were drunk. We came home and hung out on the deck for another couple hours where more beers were had. Just before I went to bed, I looked up in the sky and saw a bright orangish star at about 2 o'clock from the rising moon. It was really bright compared to the rest of the stars. I then realized I had read an article about Mars being closer to Earth than it had been recorded history, and that it wouldn't be this close again for at least 200 years, if not more. Sure enough, the article said that mars would rise in the east late in the evening and would be the brightest object besides the moon. Mars hit it's closest mark on the 28th I think. I recomend everyone enjoy this spectacle because it won't happen again for several generations. I saw it about 2am, but you can probably see it starting around 10 pm or so. Look to the east and about 45 degrees up from the horizon. It's hard to miss, because it is damn bright. As I stared up at mars I started thinking about the fact that we have 2 tiny robots crawling around on the surface of a planet that is only a small speck in the night sky. It is really quite amazing if you think about that we can get an object there and control it from the earth, millions of miles away. After reading in the news about all the stupid shit we as humans do to each other, this event reaffirmed my faith in mankind. The people that put the rovers up there have no malevolent intent. It is merely the quest to understand and explore that guided the huge effort it took to get the rovers to mars. I think this is the one of man's greatest attributes, that and pure altruistic compassion....which is becoming a rarity. Oh yeah, if you happen to have a modest 75 power telescope the planet is supposed to appear as detailed as the moon is to the naked eye. I wish I hadn't given my telescope up all those years ago, this would be the perfect time to break it out and get some use out of it. Either way, it's still a sight to behold. Enjoy.
-J

A good movie I haven't written about yet.

Hello all.

There's a movie out there that should be seen. The movie in question is Velvet Goldmine. It's an interesting story about glam rock in the 70's and focuses on two rockers that more than vaguely resemble Iggy Pop and Bowie as well as a fan turned reporter following Bowie's story 10 years later. I know most people will write this off as an homage to bisexuality...and that it is. However, the production value of this movie is through the roof. The costumes are spot on for the time period...if not even a little more over the top. What really makes the movie though is the music. It's not really a musical so to speak, more like a movie with a bunch of rock video clips. The first time I saw it, I thought the movie was pretty cool, if not a bit disjointed. The music really stood out to me. So, after a few weeks of song snippets floating around in my head, I decided to buy the soundtrack. I was not dissapointed. The songs are quite varied, but the overall feel is very glam rock (in a good way). A bunch of artists contributed to the soundtrack but the ones that stand out are Thom Yorke sp? of Radiohead and members of Sonic Youth. I recommend checking out the album and seeing the movie if you haven't already. Something different in these days of cookie cutter flicks. God Bless IFC.

-J

Best Halloween costume ever. 

Genius!!! Every tree-hugger should get one. 

the curve ball is the bane of my existence

Oh my brothers.......

How I hate the curve ball in bowling. It's secrets elude me like a leprechaun jealously hoarding it's pot o' gold. I just can't settle into a consistent toss. There are too many variables.....line, speed, and spin. I can't make all three come together in harmony like Ebony and Ivory. I either throw it too fast with too little spin and put it in the gutter or right side of the lane, or I spin it too hard with too little speed and hit the left side of the lane. I'll tell you what though.....I sure as shit can hit the hell out of the 7 and 10 pins. The other 8 however, elude me. Case in point....here are the scores from my last two outings at bowling....which are the only two I've had in months....so that is a factor.

2 weeks ago......
110
120
120
131
These were all bowled with Dan's brown ball....which will be called "brown ball" from now on.
These games were all attempts at throwing a curve ball with a couple of straight balls for pickups.

Jade bowled the following the same night.
119
135
103
130

So, I got my ass whupped by a girl....feel free to insert your own jokes here...I know you will.

Here's how tonight went.....
91.....brown ball curve
119...brown ball curve with a couple straight brown ball throws
123...exclusively 14 pound house ball straight
165...exclusively 14 pound house ball straight
208!!!exclusively 14 pound house ball straight, and my highest game ever (I may have bowled a 209 once, but I can't remember, I just know it's only my 3rd game over 200 ever) That same game I had only one open frame in the 6th. I bowled 4 strikes in a row to close out the game. Unfortunatley, the rest of the closed frames were spares.....I am Abe Froman.....the spare king of Chicago.

Jade's totals:
109
124
115
99
111

New fact...Jade finally stopped paying 4 dollars a night for shoes and bought her own. They are absolutely kick ass!!!! I almost want to buy the same pair except for the fact it would be a waste of money as I have a perfectly good pair that's almost brand new. The ones she owns are white with 2 electric shiny blue stripes like old Adidas with the heel counter that is the same shiny electric blue.....they rock! I think she paid less than 30 bucks for them total, so they will pay for themselves in 8 nights of bowling.

I miss bowling every Sunday with they guys. I would like to see how they are playing. I' m glad Aaron sends me the scores and averages.....but it's not the same. I think Jade and I are going to try to join a league so we can play every week at a consistent date and time. So far, our bowling is sporadic, and I feel my average is suffering because of it. Usually when we play it is a bunch of teenagers and early college kids that have no concept of etiquette. Tonight, for example, the people next to us didn't wait their turn. Not only that....they used both of our balls as their own. A couple lanes down there were college kids screaming and acting stupid. It reminded me of my early days of bowling and I was embarassed that I acted similar to these monkeys.....ahhhh...the experience of age. Regardless, it was distracting as hell...I chalk my 123 total up to distraction. After that, I was able to ignore it pretty well. As for the bastardly spin ball. I just don't know how people do it. I see people do it all the time, and I am in awe. I'm positive Gasca is a machine and not human. But, I've seen the same kind of shots out of Sean and Aaron. I am extremely impressed with their ability, and I am pretty much sure it isn't for me. I think I'm going to stick with the straight ball from here out. It's not as effective at getting strikes unless you are accurate. However, I'm not getting strikes with the spin. In fact, I'm getting more splits with that than ever before. I'll take makeable spares over rough splits any day.

"I see you rolled your way into the finals.....dios mio my friend. Me and Liam...were going to fuck you up. And, If your friend pulls his bullshit piece out and starts waving it at me, I'm going to take it away from him, shove it up his ass and pull the trigger till it goes "click"".
"Jesus"
You said it man, don't fuck with the Jesus."
(Horribly paraphrased by a drunk bastard at 1:30 in the morning)

Peace and chicken grease
-J

I can't stand it, I know you planned it. Imma' set it straight, this watergate...... 

Back by popular demand.

Here's a heartwarming joke about a man finding true love....

An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?", askes the barman. "Well, I'll tell you.", replies the ugly man. "You know I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time. We made love all night, all over the house. We did everthing....me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable." "Fantastic!", exclaimed the barman. "You lucky guy, was she pretty?"

Dunno.....never found the head.

Ahhhh.....love, sweet love.

Enjoy.
-J

One good movie you should see, and one rotten one you should see only if you have a strong stomach

Hiya,

I watched a couple of movies this weekend that I must tell you about. The first is Kinsey. It's a really good drama/biography about the famous sex study scientist of the 30's or 40's. It stars Liam Neeson. In my humble opinion....I think he is a fantastic and underrated actor. The movie deals with how he came to be a sex researcher. It also addresses the huge difference between what society says sex is and what people even back then were doing behind closed doors. It's both funny and poinient (sp?). This was the second time I've seen this movie, and it still is fascinating to watch. Overall a very heartfelt movie. Oh yeah, it's got all the naughty bits and pieces of both sexes. So.....be wary of the ever present floppy cock and the gaping maw of the orifice. Now, on to the other film I witnessed. I say witnessed because watching it is not just viewing....it's witnessing something like an execution or a car wreck. The film of mention is John Waters' Pink Flamingoes. Quite possibly the most disgusting movie ever by the filthiest filmaker. The plot, if you can call it that, centers around a couple and a drag queen both competing for the title of Filthies Person Alive. Hilarity and vomiting ensues. The acting is terrible....and when I say that I don't mean it in a Pearl Harbor or Free Willy kind of way. Think amature actors making their first film, then take it down about 100 notches. They might as well have been reading from the script in their hands, it was that bad. The dialogue, when not drawn out and tedious was actually pretty funny in parts. The action is the centerpiece of this film. You will see some sick shit, I guarantee it. I don't want to ruin it for anyone that hasn't seen it but I will give away to scenes. First there is a rape scene involving a man, woman and two chickens. Secondly, there is a scene which defies reason. Some dude is at a party and is flexing his shoulderblades to make them stick out like wings. This is weird, but pretty tame. Then, for some reason, he takes off his underwear and proceeds to show the camera his dirty balloon knot. He then spreads said balloon knot and contracts the muscles of his bowels. The effect is that you see the inside tissue of his ass almost come out of the hole. I've never seen anything quite like that....and I've seen a lot of porn. I can't believe this movie didn't get banned. There are several other scenes not quite as gross....but pretty damn close. I'd say I recommend viewing it at least once, but not everyone is quite the sick fuck that I am.....so beware. There are several funny scenes that aren't gross....particularly everything with the "egg lady". Other than that, I've been trying to get my In-Demand to work on my tv. It keeps coming out digitized really bad...not even watchable. That's a shame, because everything else on tv right now seems to be shit. Also, I might as well make this a music review as well. Jade got me the new Frank Black cd....not Frank Black and the Catholics. It is very different from his old stuff. It's a very slow and dark album all the way through.....sounds almost country in a way. The lyrics are pretty good, but I wouldn't call it his best work....even though most reviews on Amazon say it is. I'll have to give it a little time to grow on me, I've spun it only twice so far. Other than that, not much new to report. I'm finally getting settled in at my house and have started thinking about customizing things to my liking.

Enjoying my golf course view as I write,
-J