Another shot of the clouds. 

Wow.....crazy ass clouds. I've seen ones like this only twice in my life.  

For those heavy sleepers. 

Who ya gonna call? 

Clever 

Damn, I remember Atari was fun, but this fun?? 

It's what the public wants!!!

Hello over dar,

I'm happy to announce that my bid was accepted by the greedy bankers that own this foreclosed house. Originally, they didn't get the paperwork done in time and left a window for someone else to bid. I bid high (probably too high) and got the contract. Today, 6-27-05, Jade and I went there to have the inspection done. Unfortunately, there were some things wrong, but nothing too major. Basically the deck needs better support, the outside sink is prone to freeze the pipes, and the support in the garage is rusted from road salt (not leaks). Those were the 3 big things. No termite damage though, which is a relief. There are a lot of little things that need fixing such as paint, closet doors, and woodwork. Overall though it's in good shape. The inspector said the roof is about 10 years old and should last another 10. I'm going to try to negotiate a lower price to help cover some repairs. If everything goes well, we are expecting to close on July 11th. Now, who's up for a moving party? Yeah!....a moving party.....whoo-hooo! It should be pretty easy. Jade and I will move all that we can over the course of 2 weeks and we are looking to move the big stuff the weekend after the rugby float trip. Might I add that it pays well....all the premium beer you can drink, plus the peace of mind knowing that you did me a "solid". Come one, come all...the more the merrier.....and faster :)

Future homeowner extrordinaire,
-J

I've got to stop entering these posts backwards.....See post below. Anyway, this is the only good shot of the living room I have. It's good size and has a view of the golfcourse. Can anyone say "Ninja Run". 

Another shot of the deck. 

Enter the octogan. This place is 70's pimp. I think Rick James owned this house before. Notice the jacuzzi in the background....very nice. Also, notice the toilet near the entryway. What the hell....no door!!! Anyone who visits better be comfortable about pooping in public. Just kidding....We are going to put some sort of door up, maybe like the kind used for changing clothes. Any suggestions? Also, the ceiling fan in the rec room adjacent has blue neon lights.....can anyone say "midnight baseball?" 

This is a partial shot of the yard. Notice the fire pit to the left. It's a huge yard and I'm not looking forward to mowing it. It does, however, have a nice level spot near the house for horseshoes. 

Here's a nice shot of the deck. It's split level, has 2 ceiling fans, and seats about 15 

Let's bowl, let's bowl, lets...rock n' roll

Well, I finally got a chance to bowl for the first time in awhile last night. I used Dan's brown ball exclusively, even to pick up spares. Results....mixed. My scores were 100, 160, 96, and 134. Jade scored 114, 117, 100, and 93. As always, the bowling alley was crowded and we had to wait a long time to get a lane. Also, I forgot my shoes...so I blame my scores on that. Other than that, we have a home inspection on Monday. If all goes well...we move foreward. Work has been okay other than the fact I worked 9:30 to Midnight on Sunday night. That wasn't so much fun. Neither was getting called a motherfucker over the phone by a patient. That's a whole 'nuther story for another post. I did get to see another scoliosis kid, so I actually feel like I'm doing something worthwhile again.

P.S. Not on call this weekend....always a plus
Laters,
-J

Delicious delicate droppings of ecstatic ear candy

Well, it's official. The new White Stripes album is bad ass. I've had it in my car stereo for a week and have not changed it yet....that's usually a good sign, even though I have new Coldplay, System of a Down, Audioslave, Beck, Queens of the Stone Age, and old Jimi. I think I still like Elephant more. (Purists would disagree....siting De Stilj or White Blood Cells....both excellent in their own right). However, I got turned on to the band like most people with 2003's Elephant. That was a kick ass album. Very unique compared to what else was out there at that time. I was anxious and nervous about what would follow and I'm happy to say.....solid. The album is a little different than Elephant....a bit more subdued....but still retains a similar feel. Some of my favorites include: Forever for her is over for me, Little Ghost, The denial twist, Take Take Take, As ugly as I seem, and I'm lonely but I'm not that lonely yet. I highly recomend getting your grubby little hands on a copy and inserting it directly into your waxy ear canal. Now that I've absorbed about half of what the album has to offer, I'm off to the new Coldplay. Although I'm sure White Stripes will be back in a couple of days. Let me know what you think.

Shoving my opinion down the throat of all those who care to look,
-J

Good weekend

Hi folks,

Had a pretty good weekend, didn't do much of anything...which is just fine. Friday night Jade and I went to a Japanese Hibatchi restaurant. It was very cool. The chef was a master of flipping shit around.....it was pretty amazing. Saturday night we went to see live music at Mojos. Basically it was just us and one other couple in the whole bar. They started the evening by showing music videos that were pretty obscure. We left at 10, I don't think the band was even there yet. But, it was free. Below you can find a few pictures of the houses we've been looking at. There are tons more from other locations, but I didn't want to post a lot of pictures. As for the house that we have a bid on, I left that one off. Call me superstitous, but I don't want to jinx it until the contract is secure. You'll just have to wait and see.

-J

see what I mean about the basement....every wall looked like this....or worse! 

nice house with bad basement 

Another shot of fight club house 

Fight club house meets crazy old pack rat lady 

Feel the force, you dork! 

The postest with the mostess

Hello, thank you for coming.
Thank you....
Thank you....
Both of you.
~Hedwig

First off, sorry to Aaron for not returning his call. I left my cell phone on at the movies and he called during the flick. Jade and I saw Batman Begins, 4 words.....best batman movie evaa. It was a lot less comic-booky than the others. The dialogue wasn't half bad either, for the most part. There were some cheesy moments...but that's to be expected. Liam Neeson and the guy from 28 days later make the movie in my opinion. However, I don't buy Christian Bale as Batman.....I always think of someone with a more square jaw and blue eyes. Also, Batman is supposed to be part detective and hyper intelligent....they didn't really play up that part of the role. In my mind there is only one true Batman.....Adam West baby!!! Do I smell a comeback? Batman: The Golden Years. As for posting on houses.....partly I didn't have time, partly I didn't want to jinx things, and partly my internet connection was down all day yesterday. Long story short: Over the course of a weekend Jade and I either drove to or saw about 15 or so houses. Some of the ones on my list turned out to be complete shit. There was one listed that didn't have much information about it. We drove to the house and the entire backyard was in shambles. It once had a nice deck, but it was broken in pieces and falling apart all over. Also, it claimed to have a fenced in yard. Well, if fenced in means it has an aluminum gate leaning against the house attached to nothing than yeah.....it had a fence. The outdoor lighting was not even attached, it was hanging by it's wiring. That one was obviously a winner. Then there was the other turd that I liked from the picture. It was older, but had a lot of square footage. The location was excellent. The yard was also heavily wooded/shrubberized. Actually, very nice yard. The house, however, was a different story. Think fight club crossed with a crazy old pack-rat lady. The place was falling apart: cracked tile, cracked walls, thousand year old paint, stains everywhere, moldy nasty basement. The plus side was it came complete with my very own Jesus shrine. They wanted 105k, I don't think I would have bought it for 50k. In the middle price range 80-95k, there were some fixer uppers. Some needed a lot of work, some didn't, but all had major shortcomings such as sinks didn't drain, holes in walls, no appliances, no closet space, bad neighborhood, heavily traffic on streets, etc. On to Jade's pics. There was one that she thought was cute, but I thought was too small. We saw this house with an agent. It was built in 1920, but had totally been renovated. It actually had good space: 2 big bedrooms, office space, good size kitchen, 2 full renovated baths, a front porch, shed, and a kick ass closed in porch with lots of windows. It was pretty good.....except it was in the ghetto, worse than where we live now. Her other house was pretty kick ass too. Good neighborhood, close to a lot of conviences. The inside was all hardwood. The entire place was renovated. I'm talking new paint, new light fixutures, new tile and counters in kitchen. Super nice. The dishwasher was only half the size of a regular one. Also, there was no fridge. No patio or deck either. The basement was frickin' awesome. There was a huge carpeted room that could fit a pool table, foozeball, and darts....easily. I about came in my pants. That's when I saw the unfinished part of the basement....the foundation was hell. All the walls were literally collapsing inward. I stopped counting major cracks at 20. It had been buttressed with steel rigging. The realtor said that it would hurt property value in a big way, and would be hard to sell. They were asking 112k for it, and that was way too much for a house with that bad of foundation....I mean, really, it was about to collapse on itself. I have pictures and will try to put them on the blog. I saw another house with the same agent on Monday. It was okay, but also had foundation problems, water leakage, and it smelled of dog. Strike two for that realtor. Third pitch to the realtor, and what do you know? She hits a home frickin' run. This house wasn't even on my list, never came across it. First off, it's across the street from a very nice golf course. I look out the living room window and see rolling fairways and trees. It's a split foyer, looks alot like Sean's parents old house on Crooked Rd. Inside: all new carpet, very nice fridge, nice stove with flat burners, microwave, and dishwasher. The bedrooms are small, but 3 of them....offices for both of us. Now for the good stuff. Off the kitchen there is a monstrous deck. It's about 15 feet off the ground, two levels, roofed, and two ceiling fans. There is lattice work all the way around it. There is also bench seating for about 15 people. I mean this thing is huge. Underneath it is storage space. The yard is huge, with a firepit and wooden fence. There is a shed. Back inside, attached two car garage with opener. Family room downstairs. Large laundry room downstairs with rods for hanging clothes. Off the family room, get this, octogon shaped doorway....pure 70's baby. It leads into a bathroom with 2 sinks and a JACUZZI!!!! There is even a wall mounted tv stand so you can watch tv in the hottub. Needless to say, I was enthralled. The only disadvantage is that it is faily far from downtown. Easy access to 63S for Jade to get to work, but it will add at least 15 minutes to my drive. There are conviences 1 exit west on 70. This house is a foreclosure and they only wanted 104.5k....which is a steal for this place. So, after Jade agreed to it, I bid 100k. Now the bad news. The realtor called me yesterday and said that the paperwork didn't go through fast enough on the other end and somebody else bid on it. So, now we both have a chance to give our "best bid" and the winner gets the house. The problem is, I don't know how much they bid....or even if there was another bidder....it may be a ploy to raise the bid. The house has been on the market since March, and it's awfully fishy that two bids occur within a couple days of one another. I'm pretty pissed about it, and I think something is up. However, it is a kick ass house....so I bid a shitload...probably more than I needed to. So, she calls me back today and says she had talked to the seller (a lending company, since it's a forclosure) and says that my bid should be enough to get the house. However, I won't believe it till I see it, which won't be until Monday or Tuesday. I also had already had the home inspection set up, which then had to be cancelled until this bullshit works itself out. Hopefully, everything will work out and I will have the house in mid-July or earlier. There are a couple of other options, but this one is the best I've seen so far. The good news is that I've learned a lot about the process and will know how to handle myself better in the future. Key point....start early enough that you can walk away easily. Allright, enough for now......Jade and I are going to dinner. Pictures hopefully to follow. I'll keep everyone posted (pun intended).

Captain Pellican signing off.
-J

clean joke of the day

Ok...so I won't probably post a joke a day...but this one struck me as pretty funny so here goes.

Moses and Jesus were part of a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water trap. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted, and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound. Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly toward the same water trap. It landed right in the center of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped the ball right up on to the green. The third guy got up and sort of randomly whacked at the ball. I headed out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree. From there, it bounced onto the roof of a shack close by and rolled down into the gutter, down the drain spout, out onto the fairway and straight towards the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond, the ball hit a little stone and bounced out over the water and onto a lily pad, where it rested. Suddenly, a very large bullfrog jumped up on the lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth. Just then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew away. As they passed over the green, the frog squealed with fright and dropped the ball, which bounced right into the hole for a beautiful hole in one.

Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your dad."

Enjoy
Dirtier jokes to follow eventually.
-J

quick post mcgee

Not much to write this evening. Brain is drained. I had the pleasure of seeing patients till 6:30 last night, then got called at 2:30 am. That's AM folks...as in "fucking hell I gotta go to work at 2:30 in the goddamn morning. At least I restrained myself from punching something this time. So, I get back home and bed around 4am. Got up at 7:30 for work feeling loopy. Had another relatively shitty day at work but not near as bad as monday. Stayed till 7:30 doing paperwork that I didn't even come close to finishing. Yup, I hate my job. However, I did get one preapproval paperwork packet faxed off for a home loan. Now, if I could only get a realtor to show me a friggin house I would be in business. Also, I'm not on call tonight. So, here I sit in front of the computer drinking beer like water.....hoping to forget how much I hate my job. Maybe I'll get drunk enough to forget where I work and not be able to find my way back there in the morning. Yes people, it's that bad. The only thing keeping me going is the hope of more staff to even out the workload. If that doesn't happen, I'm likely to buy a nice sniper rifle and start looking for a clock tower to climb. On another note....I've been called a "leftist" by some people, but let me tell you, Medicaid needs to be cut for everyone but the severly disabled and severly handicapped. I'm fucking sick of seeing perfectly able-bodied people come to my office to get shit they don't need because their medicaid will pay for it. Most are unemployed, lazy, and demanding backwoods fucks. They think the world owes them a favor because they were born poor and see no need why they should improve their situation. Hell, I think quite a few actually like being that way. No stress from a job, no pressure to achieve anything, free health care....as long as they can buy their McCormick vodka and Basic smokes...they're fine. Never mind the food for their 50 kids. I think Jello Biafra had it right....there are too many sharks in the gene pool. Perfect example....fat slob of a redneck needs diabetic shoes. Their feet are in piss poor condition and need major care to keep from developing ulcers that lead to amputation. All this is explained to them, but they still want "cute shoes" and the ones that are actually good for their feet are "too ugly". All this coming from a chick in fucking grimy house slippers and a Wal-Mart Tweety Bird shirt with multiple food stains in places that food couldn't possible get......and they think shoes are going to make a difference in their personal appearance? Okay, enough with the bitching...this is my evening off and this shit just gets me riled up. On a positive note, I got a new lcd monitor and I love it. The picture is nice and sharp and my eyes haven't even gotten tired yet after an hour or so online. With my old monitor my eyes would start to get blurry after 45 minutes of reading. Other good news....new Coldplay, Foo Fighters, and White Stripes albums come out soon. P.S. Thanks to all that made my 30th birthday fun....I had a great time, even if I paid dearly for it the next day. Stay tuned for kick ass pictures of tonight's sunset.

As always, fear and loathing in Columbia
-J