Dining Room

Here is a picture of the dining room we just finished. It was a royal pain in the ass. I highly don't recommend painting with red. You have to use a pink primer, wait 24 hours, paint the first coat, wait 24 hours, second coat, 24 hours, 3rd coat, 24 hours, then a fourth coat. It's hard to tell from the picture, but the top is gold with sponge painted light brown and lighter yellow white. It turned out very light and looks kinda marbled. Not bad, but I think we used too much glaze so the top colors don't show much. Overall it took us from Sunday till Friday to finish, with the border going on last. The border was also a pain, self adhesive my ass. Next it's on to the living room and hallways. I figure to have the entire inside repainted in a month or two.

Say them out loud.....hilarious

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."

IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - noun. A tool.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"

TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ.

HOD - adverb. Not easy.
Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."

RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."

TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."

RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."

LOT - adjective. Luminescent.
Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."

FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... Must be from some farn country."

DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: "He can't breathe ... Give 'em some ear!"

BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JU-HERE - a question.
Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?"

HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... Haze ignert."

SEED - verb, past tense.

VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... View?"

HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action.
Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"

GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"

Hank Williams 3 and the Damn Band + Assjack=awesome

Hello everybody,

I had a nice 3 day weekend. On Friday I finished painting our dining room. I think it turned out pretty good. I'll post pictures shortly. I'm now on to the living room and hallways. I figure the entire inside of the house will be repainted in a month or two. On Saturday, I had a couple of friends come down from KC to See Hank 3 and Assjack. I cooked kabobs and we hung out on the deck until it was time for the show. We stopped by the most kick ass dive in town, the Eastside Tavern. I've mentioned it before...it's the horror/sci-fi bar. I had to show some other people what I consider to be the best bar in town for atmosphere. I can't help but to feel deliciously evil when I'm there. We had a quick beer there and then headed over to the Blue Note. The place was packed, so we got kinda crappy spots to stand. We got there at 8:30 and Hank went on not too long after that. I guess we missed the opening band. Hank started off with the country set and it absolutely rocked. He played a lot of classic country, some rockabilly, and a couple of covers (Hank JR., Cash, and Coe). Most of the stuff was upbeat and really tight, with lots of fiddle and slide guitar solo's. Hank was really good at interacting with the audience as well. As for the second set, well that was another story altogether. For those of you who don't know, Assjack is Hank's speed metal band. It was crazy. Plum crazy. Basically they played super fast metal and screamed alot. It kinda sucked. I was hoping to hear some songs I knew, but I only heard one song I could recognize. He had this crazy backup singer that would jump around all over stage. When somebody hit Hank between the eyes with a coke can, the other singer picked it up and proceeded to smash it into his forehead and cheek. He ended up getting cuts all over one side of his face. 10 minutes later, half his face was covered in blood. It was very surreal. I kept thinking "thank god I'm not close enough to get that guy's blood and god knows what else on me". There was lots of moshing and apparently some trend I didn't know about.....people fling water on each other. Didn't know that was the thing to do at a punk show. Everyone got a little wet, and a lot pissed off. We retired to my house for some Yahtzee and a late night XBox session. Overall, a pretty good show. I just wish I would've heard more metal songs I know. Also, I'm stoked for a couple of shows we are going to see. In early August we are going to see "the Nuge" at the Blue Note, and then in late August we are going to see Sonic Youth with THE FLAMING LIPS!!!! I can't wait for that show...I love the Flaming Lips. I've seen Sonic Youth and they put on a good show as well. Anyway, time to do some finishing touches to the dining room so I can post some pictures. Laters.

The Seven Stages of Drunkeness: an Exercise in Progression

So, I've been waiting until I got the pictures back to do the birthday post. It was a fun day. Jade and I went to a kick ass art fair at Stephen's College Lake. There were about 150 booths with all sorts of paintings, pictures, sculptures, jewerly, etc. I had to exercise massive restriant to keep from spending a ton of money. I ended up buying Jade and my mom some jewelry, and I bought myself a planter.

Later, Aaron came down and 2 of our local friends stopped by. We started out with Daquiri's, then moved to beer. Nicki and Dana brought me a bottle of crown that led to this.










Aaron also came bearing gifts.....his was a bottle of Patron that led to this.












Then this.



Later, we went bowling...thankfully, we took a cab as I'm sure nobody was in the shape to drive. I got a free shot at the bowling alley, and that is about the last thing I have a clear memory of. We all bowled crappy. I don't have any recolection of putting on my bowling shoes and very well may have bowled in my street shoes. Much fun was had at the bowling alley as evidenced by this.


















A couple of pitchers of beer later, and this was the result.




We headed home and then Patron reared its ugly head again, with dire results as evidenced by this.














Jade, ever the level headed one....recommended that we start drinking water. Aaron was grateful, and I think I had a glass. Apparently, I wanted to take another shot of Patron at this point......Jade tried to talk me out of it but I kept saying "balls to the wall, balls to the wall" and took the shot anyway. That was a big mistake. All of a sudden all that booze caught up with me. Before I made it to bed I succeeded in the following: accidentally slamming the door into the wall which broke a picture and put a hole in the wall, bruising both of my arms somehow, and basically stumbling around until I found my way to the bed. I drifted off into a coma and emerged the next day at noon to eat. I then promptly went back to bed until 3pm. I felt sorry for Aaron, he had to get up and play softball the next day. Overall, a good time was had by all...I hope it never happens again! :)

Geeked Out

So I was watching Star Wars: Episode 3 at 3 in the morning last night and I got to thinking about some things that bug me about Star Wars.

1. In every space battle the ships, debris, robots all act as though they are flying through atmosphere, not space. Things get blown away as if there is wind. In episode 3, a giant command ship loses it's engines and proceeds to fall out of space onto a planet....wouldn't it just continue in whatever direction it was going?

2. All the ships have engines that allow for vertical take off, so why are most of the ships shaped like planes? The don't actually have to get lift. The exception that I can think of is the Millenium Falcon...no wings....flies just fine.

3. Jedi fights: If jedi's have the ability to levitate massive objects, why is it that when they fall they don't just levitate themselves to keep from hitting the ground? In episode 3, Anakin is hanging from an elevator shaft by his hands...why not just levitate? Same goes for the fight scene with Yoda and Sidious.

4. Why is it that Darth Vader knows Luke is his son, but in Episode 4 doesn't realize that he has captured his own daughter?

5. This one pisses me off almost as much as the space battle one. There is no way in hell that Obi-Wan and Anakin can fight on the lava planet. They would fry in a second. But, there they are, jumping platform to platform 6 inches away from molten lava.

All gripes aside, I like the series. I decided to do a list of my top five favorite characters from the star wars universe.

1. Yoda...by far
2. Obi-Wan
3. Han Solo
4. Darth Vader...not Anakin Skywalker (he sucks azz)
5. Princess Leia

Honorable mentions: Admiral Ackbar, Watto, Greedo ( I always liked him), Jabba, Lando Calrissian, Boba Fett, General Grievious

Dishonorable mentions: Luke (he's so damn whiny), Anakin (same reason), Jar-Jar Binks, Salicious Crumb (Jabba's little pet thing), and of course, C-3PO.